This newbie crushed out his first Triathlon this weekend. In his glorious speedo Gramma Green dominated competition and anxiety to get the the finish in an outfit only his mom could like. His previous race experience only included Zahm House bun runs and a couple marathons he prairie dogged back in the day, so this was another big accomplishment for the Man from Memphis.
His main motivation for the race was to work on his chicken legs and fit into his christmas sweater, borrowed from his real grandma, another year! The annual Pants Party means that much to him that he would don some spandex to make it back into his fav. cardigan!
POST RACE PIC featuring the one and only Gramma Green
Gramma’s training consisted of a lot of laying (shown below) and deep fried southern style foods. Gramma learned the techniques of laying from the great T POT. Since college T Pot has stopped laying and been running with Kenyans and Mexicans through NYC, and even signed up for a tri in 2 weeks in Madison Wisconsin. SO it has beena few years since Nick Green and T Pot put out the Joey and Chandler Bing vibe.
Gramma, we all want to congratulate you on the success of your first tri. Pronk is proud of yas, and we hope u continue to race – Pants OFF. For all you newbies please feel free to ask our favorite Gramma (firstname.lastname@example.org) how he did and overcame the anxiety of a mass swim start and never having done a triathlon until he was 26 yrs old. You’re never to old to try, so go buy ur speedo from Splish swimwear and get it done.
HE HAW, POR! TRI OR DIE.