Time To Dance
Pants Off Racing
Pants are for Fools
LACC 2011
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v.E.1
Happy Halloween Kiddos
Dan Pelner gets stuck in a pumpkin. Fortunately this meerkat was there to pull him out with his teeth.
16 October, 2011 00:08
It’s not brain surgery
11 October, 2011 01:24
Traveling with Jorge the burro!
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8 October, 2011 05:07
We got the beans!
8 October, 2011 03:04
Keeping the trail light up with some LED laces.
8 October, 2011 03:04
It’s a deep burn!
Matt Poz – Pants Off Racer
“DR-
Over President’s Weekend, I participated in the Winter Quadratholon in Grants, New Mexico. Here is the breakdown of the 42 mile race up and back down a mountain:
Bike: 13miles
Run: 5 miles
Cross Country Ski: 2 miles
Snow Show: 1 mile to the peak and 1 mile back to base
Cross Country Ski: 2 miles down
Run: 5 miles down
Bike: 15 miles back into town
I figured I would wear my POR tang top but I couldnt find it. This race had POR written all over it so once I got to the top, I had an official take my picture. With 35 mph head winds and rain on the final stretch of the bike made the race quite epic. The altitude and cramps were the toughest part.
Hope all is well,
Poz”
Sidecut Park
I may not be able to run in the Elysian Fields with DR, but a morning run along the Maumee River isn’t too bad.
Bibio – ‘Lovers Carvings’
Bibio – Lovers Carvings …feel gooder fa sha. Give it 2 or 3 and you got it. Thanks Hank!
Pants Off Racing Jerseys!
We reprinted our POR jerseys this week. This time we ran some in new colors: black, purple, and Texas. We’re going to look fantastic this race season. Hopefully you ordered one for yourself. If not, we need to have at least 12 to order more. No worries since you probably want a dozen anyway.
Slay Ze Dragone
I found a new Wildwood Park about 2,200 miles away from the original Wildwood Park in Toledo, OH. It reminds me a lot of Roan Amato since I always think of Gladiator the movie when i run here, and, itso facto, i think ‘oh, gladiator, my gladiator.’
I run here in the mornings before work when i can manage to wake up in the dark hours of the day. Life of an accountant, right?
So many trails here i can’t even do most of these photos justice.
Venture westward and we can pronk these things together. POR life!
YOUR PANTS, OUR MOTHER
Time for prayer is often reserved for bedrooms and churches and synagogues. We aren’t saying you need to be catholic or you need to go to Lourdes and stick candles up your nose like our old mang Balty, but I think it is time we got serious and at least did something.
What have you done recently to make a difference. Our friend and most philanthropic donor so far has began to tithe his annual bonus. This kid (Andrew Forero) is made of golden pants, not because he went to ND, but because his heart burst and bled all over his pockets and into the greatest team ever assembled. He is just out of college and making donations that make a real difference!
I can’t tell you how awesome all of the friends have been in supporting the family and the cause. It isn’t one person but it is so many across the states. We have 24 knuckle/turkeyheads signed up for a 200 mile relay race this fall. Some family that we didn’t know existed anymore, and others that are just excited to join in the event and promote such a vital cause in the cancer research community. Special things are about to happen, ask Trooper!
So keep your spirits high, and make a million dollar smile something you wear around all the time. I think Pants has it down in this pic! Pictures remind us of some of those good times, so make sure you go back and remember what makes you happy again.
YEAR OF THE RABBOTT
So there are some new faces in the crowd this year. We have Chops, he dances for training, and he has kicked his smoking habit so he doesn’t get any more cigarette burns in his jersey.
Hendrix and yahr decided to take the plunge. Half of the dynamic duo is heading to the 1st annual Pants Off Racing Bourbon Chase.
http://www.bourbonchase.com/course.html
Uncle Jimmy will also grace us with his presence. He is the elder member of the group and obviously the most immature. Ask the Canadians!
Brian Moose Smith, well we aren’t sure which picture is him, but the one looks like he may be constructing an Ark in case we take on the oceans one of these years. 2 at a time please.
Well this year is big time for the team. We are about to break open in the non profit scene. Our license is in process and our lead counsel, Jimi Hendrix son, Chris, is making sure that your donations are going to good use. As financial manager of this institution, Pronk will send out the pro forma as soon as it appears in front of him. With any luck we will be building forts and tracks and swimming pools in the name of Pants off Racing gloabally! Can you even imagine what a group of young guns, and some old (see uncle jimmy), can do for the face of pancreatic cancer?!?!?! I am freaking pumped, pumped full of wild turkey and ready to go for a run, bike and swim.
See ya Pantless racers, have a day and don’t be afraid to shake that weight!
THE EARLY TURKEY GETS THE WORMS
It’s that time again, races are starting and the partying is about to hit all time highs. Traffic in LA is miserable since DR moved out here with 9 million other post grads.
All I really want to do on the phone with Nancy Pants in the morning is lobster kick a few of these commuters back to their hometowns. Then again, I will race their mom, and I will win. Pants of Racing has begun the spring/winter with a real bang. Hitting up a 100 mile bike this past weekend and competing in all all out 15 k war in Chinatown. War or hills and rabbits. I would say the rabbits won, but I am not so sure my hip flexors would agree, the hills must have gotten the better of Downward Facing P Dogg.
Here are a couple pics of the afternoon. You may recognize the picxs from a daily line up in the Toledo Blade or the UCSB dogbook. Either way make sure you steer clear of these motley fools. IT’S BEEN BROUGHTEN BY POR!
TEAM PANTS 2011
Chris Koegel Wins the Hamptons Marathon
Pants Off Racer Chris Koegel won the Hampton Marathon, his first marathon victory, this October with a time of 2:46:46. He ran the race in honor of his cousin U.S. Army 1st Lieutenant Joe Theinert who died in Afghanistan.
Chris "Teapot" Koegel
This is amazing. Chris is our first team member to win a full marathon. He rana 6:15 mile pace. He’s a machine. Every time he runs there is a group of friends that circulate messages back and forth in awe of his times. That’s probably my favorite part about his races, the “Did you hear about Teapot’s race?” texts.
27east.com has a full recap on the race. We expect more victories from Chris in the future.
The American Mile Race Recap
July 4, 2010
The American Mile, located in the 1.6 square mile town of Longport, NJ, is a casual and family oriented July 4th tradition. Hosted by the Longport Fire Department, the 1 mile race had over 750 registered participants with ages ranging from 4 to over 60 years old. While there are medals given to age-group winners and trophies for overall winners, the event is largely non-competitive and easy going. Still, the overall winner of the race crossed the finish line at the 4:33 mark.
While this race has mostly been an annual Murphy tradition, perhaps next year we can see some new POR faces take to the starting line (and perhaps take home some more hardware). For 2010, only Susan and David Murphy participated. David completed the mile in a leisurely 5:40 placing 40th out of 750. Susan Murphy completed the mile in 7:11 and took home the Gold Medal for the Group: Females Ages 50-55. If you know Susan’s past success in this race (2 Trophies and 3 Medals), you may think this result is normal. However, it is important to know that in March of this year, Susan had knee surgery on BOTH knees to repair a torn meniscus in each knee. Talk about inspirational. If Susan can bring home Gold after two knee surgeries, what’s your excuse, LEIN?”
TEONY Hammond loves his meerkats!
Teony from Phoenix finally paid for his Pants Off Racing gear and conquered many mole hills in the desert land.
Johns Hopkins Pancreatic Cancer Vaccine
There is a great video on CBS about the pancreatic cancer vaccine our mother is current taking at Johns Hopkins. You should watch it. Her oncologist, Dr. Dan Laheru, is featured.
Pants Off Racing Champions: Minds Over Matter 5K
Teapot
Our most celebrated racer, Chris “Teapot” Koegel, once again proved his largess by winning the Minds Over Matter 5K in Sag Harbor. Chris is an absolute machine and dominated the field in his new POR jersey. Being one of the prettiest members of Pants Off Racing, the photographers got their fill of him during the race. Enjoy the photos below and be inspired by Chris’ immortal work ethic and win a race of your own this year.
CHAMP
Chris Koegel, Pants Off Racer
Chris Setting the Pace
Captain America
POR loves America. We need to sign this guy up for our team.
Home Alone
As we’ve covered before, it’s important to look your best at the finish. You’d think Kevin McCallister’s brother would realize the cameras are always on him and drop magnum at the opportune time.
Drop Your Arms!
Minnespronkolis! Look at our new tshirt model. If he doesn’t make you want to gear up POR style, then I’m guessing you’ve been doing a little too much tweeting of the retard salad!
Sautee’d, Lunch Box, Cop Cop Cop Cop Cop, Totes! He said Totes!
Tweet Tweet goes the Pronkbird!!!!
Headbands are in!!! Get yours today!!
Look Pretty At The Finish
Gym recently noticed the photos from the Cincinnati Flying Pig Half Marathon are online. He was excited to finally see them. Unfortunately, I failed to mention to Gym that they take our photos at the finish and he forgot to break out his duck face. At least he survived the finish swine unlike the runners below.
These photos were grabbed from runphotos.com. If you’d like to see more photos of the finish, Gym is bib #19063 and Patrick is bib #19073.
DeSean Jackson: Foundation 10 For Pancreatic Cancer Research
OK, I can’t embed the video for some reason. But head over to NBC Philadelphia to see a video about DeSean Jackson and his experience with pancreatic cancer. The more attention we bring to the cause, the better chance we have to make a different for those diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in the future.
Eagle DeSean Jackson is waging a war off the field against a disease that took his father from him – pancreatic cancer. Jackson and his mother are working with their foundation to work to eradicate it.
For more information on Foundation 10, click here.
Tweeting the Salad!
Well it was a special day. It was Amo’s Birthday and it was A – Pronk’s first pronkathon! He was a virgin pronkstar until this day! He met his match, the xterra was a bulldog as advertised! They called it some of the hardest hills that any Pronkstar has ever met. Pretty sweet stuff for your first race.
Well, the breast part is that Alex, never the dependable one actually proved he likes to run more than he likes to chase cougars. He woke up at 3am pacific time and ate a dece pronkfast then headed over to the race. He showed up just in time to open the gates with the park rangers at 5am. I think I was still asleep at this point. Well as he was signing up before most Los Angelers were sleeping, then decided to take a nap until the race.
Downward facing pronk dogg was at the race by 6:30, a little earlier than planned, but enough time to do the ritual and get a bib for the race. Thinking A-Pronk was not gonna show he decided to head back to the car and drop off the sweatshirt he wore since it was cold before the start. On the way a run in with Alex Peralta happened. Man this was unbelievable!!! The kid showed.
Man it was a tough race, i really need a camera to capture these things, not willing to risk the canons functionality no pics were taken on the course. but this was an unreal race. 2 miles in or 5K’s (of the 22K’s that were run) the hills started blasting our legs. Alex eventually took off on Pronk still feeling the effects of the Salad he had early morning! He was off to a blistering 22K. Fortunately the hill took its toll on everyone and Pronk was able to catch the virgin runner about mile 6.
The hills were a brutal 2K foot climb that never seemed to stop. it was the first time out in that park for either of us, so we weren’t sure to expect, but our friend from Belize told us where to take it back a notch. Belize Jason was wearing his compression socks, a must for all Pronkathletes! Well finally Pronk passed Alex and was able to take some pics of the kid crossing the finish.
Graet race by all PORers! Over 2 hours for 14miles, the Bulldog 22k in calabasas Cali, but not bad considering the course and the race schedule that has wiped out the Pronk reserves. happy about it, and the views were unreal. One year you have to check it out yourself. the mtns were unreal, a whole look over the ocean and the city. the rocks smoothed out near the top making it look like you were in utah, something i have never seen in my running days in LA.
next pronkathlon there is aug. 21st weekend, an ultra that does two laps over this course in 100 degree heat. who is ready to sign up for this one? It’s been broughten.
HURD responsinbly and stay fresh. This is the best way to start a weekend morning, running high is like nothing you have ever experienced! P-stars
This Is Why We Run: Chuck Daly
Chuck Daly, diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in 2009, died today.
Here are a few reminders about pancreatic cancer:
- Nearly 42,470 Americans will be diagnosed with pancreatic cancer this year, and over 34,000 will die from the disease.
- Pancreatic cancer is one of the few cancers for which survival has not improved substantially over the past 30 years.
- Seventy-five percent of pancreatic cancer patients die within the first 12 months of the diagnosis. The 5-year survival rate is 5 percent.
Support the cause, join Pants Off Racing and donate to the Hirshberg Foundation for Pancreatic Cancer Research.
St. Rose Teens High On Life 5K Race Report
Pants Off Racing showed up in force at St. Rose in Perrysburg last Friday for the Teens High On Life 5K. Most of the Pants Off Racers are proud alums of St. Rose and haven’t been back in years. It’s fun to feel nostalgic. In attendance was Pants, NJ, DR, Katie, John, Sloth Bear, and first time PORers, Jay, Bart, and Doug. The Teens High On Life race is an annual event run by the seventh and eighth graders. The race was fun and we spent a lot of quality time with Katie and her second grade class. Here are a few videos of the run.
The Start.
Here comes Doug!
Fr. Borger loves high fives.
ANNIE PANTS UP RAPSON
This was recently sent to Hurrican Pronkbird by a Lady pronkbird from NYC. This lady pronkbird is the breast fan ever know to the Turbo Pronking nation. She comes to visit for Pronkathons throughout the contiguous USA, and who knows where she may turn up next. But when T Bone, Pronkstar, or Drizzzzz race there is sure to be a message via text or drunk dial, or face in the crowd.
If you are thinking about having a new breast friend or fan take down Hurricane Annie’s number. She may be seen walking the subways wearing a Jim Tressel t shirt or just playing tennis in Compton against the ladies of the Bronx. Regardless, she is precious and had this to share with us. This article is against the credo of the Pants Off Racers, and for that we will post it to get your opinions.
Wear your Pants reposponsibly!
A Day for the Chicks!
Our founding Mother has 2 daggs and 3 kids at home. Her favorite child lives too far away to come back, but at least he knows she loves him most. With all the drama that the 3 kids and 2 daggs cause at home Pants has had the audacity to bit*h slap pancreatic cancer for the past 2 years, run a 5K, and put plastic sheets on the bed when John’s friends come over.
She has put up with the likes of Genital Gym Williams, Josh Braggs, T-Bone Koegel, David Grimes, and Alli Philabaum! She was a strict chick, never allowing her kids to have an all night curfew, we had to be in before the carriage turned back into a pumpkin. Still she always wakes up or sleeps on the couch waiting for us to come home. We call it overbearing, she calls it stressful!
But with all her rules and awesome cooked meals, somehow all of us still get along. As many times as we ran to our rooms yelling that we wish she weren’t our mother, we are so happy that we still have many days left being mad and happy with this chick! Her lack of direction and her ability to butcher our friends name and pretend she is senile has left us with many good memories. Oh and if you ever hear a story that is retold by Nancy Pants please know that about 35% of it may be true! She is the breast at making things up, it’s like a game of telephone she plays with herself, so when the story finally comes out you have little of what’s left from the way things really happened!
Regardless, Pants has been there to take us on vacations, meet us at weddings, and see us in all our Wild Turkey glory! She has no idea what she created, 4 little monsters that are so similar and so unique that I am sure she is confused as to how and why we do half the things that we do. She has witnessed our immortal races, a t shirt company out of her basement, and all the hoopla surrounding the one and only Pants Party.
Still working with a bunch of crazies, Pants and the brest nurse ever, Jill Micheal Bolton Stricker, Pants has kept some of her sanity. It must be therapeutic to a degree because that way she can’t answer all of our phone calls and get out of the house/John’s Juplife HQ.
So celebrate your mothers responsibly! You only have them around so long, but they are the backbone of your life. They are willing to put up with the many demands of their kids, and they can even vote these days! Some moms even work, truly amazing since they have to come home and deal with kids and kitchens all night! This is the reason Pants now takes a siesta with the dogs routinely. She has to be ready for all her kids to come home, even though she already kicked them all of the house once already!
The Birth of the Speedo
As we all know this kid is Kreepy. He keeps Kreepy Kool, and as a Pants off racer he has had many chances to be both Kreepy and a Pronkstar.
Well it’s Amo’s bday and we know he loves pics. he loves posting pics of his siblings so we’ll show ya a few of his all time breast pics.
Bday Smoke
Always has a face for the camera. His childhood in the shadow of Chris Amato and his All American status was tough, but through his many facial expressions he was able to cope. Some of us fared much worse!
He loves his daggs. Pretty sure his affinity with them is as bad as uncle Kelly owning a pair of rollerblades!
Plays santa for the pants party, no matter how hot the old people keep the house.
How many tressel shirts do you own?
Brings a new meaning to roadtrip.
The Goat Bag!
Have a diesel bday dude! The band will never break up, Noel!
Nurse Jackie and her bday stache
Nurse Jackie is getting old! 26 yesterday and celebrated with squirt guns and facial hair. we are just glad she didn’t break her foot again. here’s a rib of girlface, aka MJ, looking seksi in a stache.
hurd.
Pictures tell the Story
Yeah i know you love my wit, my chiseled calves, and my meerkat fizique! but you know what, we are gonna give u a story through pics this time. it’s easy and what you want to see. i read my brother’s blog and i don’t care about his wit, or awesome stache curling as he smiles and smirks while he writes his bible on www.juplife.com. You want the business…so hurr it is. Told by Chingy and his brightroom photologue!
we raced responsibily, i hope u did too! Power of the TWEET!
Patrick McPronk
soon to be legend - yes he is about to married/dead. Well we are having a bach party made in heaven. he loves cornbread, eats with his co-workers, and even takes vitamins. this guy was bron with a golden spoon and 19 siblings. no he isn’t mormon, he is Irish. Irish I were Mexican, but somedays i wish I were McPronk!
His feats include being sweet at average things, be a talented Bengal (see bengal bouts, notre dame), drinking more jameson than water on an average day, and being the best big spoon ever to come out of South Chicago.
He also was roommates with Joe C. That is not to be overlooked because Joe C is a mythical bartender in Chicago and will play Rockband till the moon is going going gone.
Well every good man meets a slampiece and fizzles away. Pat has met that slampiece and she is from T Town, home of the mud hens and Liz Malone.
A great place to get married and make kids. Ask my parents, they did the grown up and had four kids that all live the dream and pronk the walk. Off base again, getting that ADD back on track, Pat is getting married.
We are celebrating the death of McPronk in Austin TX!!!!
Going to be the sweetest event in tandem with Uncle Blair’s big bday bash.
Should be lots of Texas swearing, lone star beers, and blonde hairs. Pat and Blair are yet to meet but put them together and they are a match in heaven.
come see us in july, july 15 – 18, and see what I mean. I miss you all and hope to see ur botts thar.
Signing off responsibly…acepronk.
Genital Jim Williams Add Some Live Video Feeds of John Amato
Prairie Dogging a Stache, ask Rohn Amato about that snuff! The only reason Ms. KT Amato’s class can recognize him from the other whites! Cause all white people look-alike until you have a fashionable stache.
Prince Rohn
Journals From The Pronk-boy
So this weekend was spent away from the fields of Pronking and LA. Spending as many hours away from training as possible and running into the Clausens in Palms Springs was on the agenda. The blonde hairs were on the agenda in Palm Springs. Country hats, aka cowboy hats, were a big thing, and a few man hammocks were even spotted. Just cause we always seem to be Pronking thons and tweeting about training runs doesn’t mean the party is over. It is actually starting. To be immortal is to stop training all together and eat a pulled pork sandwhich and tell everyone at the concert that you are in love with a platter of Garlic Fries, even if it is from a vendor called The Gym. Sorry Genital Gym, they took your restaurant name and made the fries better! Better make sure they serve their ice tea at the proper temperature and serve crave cases of pulled pork sangwiches.
So the weekend was filled with Pronk fuel – Sparks, 5 hour energy, an occasional turkey bomb, some delishious waters, thousands of natty lites, and a few hundred monster vodkas. The sites were amazing. Imagine 75 thousand of your breast friends in the desert enjoying Tobey Keith and Keith Urban doing the gobbler as the sun sets!!! Riddick, Mark can tell you firsthand he blacked out from nostalgia and several grams of bud light. The people were amazing, the shirts tell the story and the hats separate the cowboys from the girls.
Having said most of this from memory I do want to say that this concert is not to be missed in your bexton gazette itinerary or your POR race schedule. I will race you out there next year and make sure the JW is ready for lots of tandem bike rides and Pornkbirds invading for a weekend of high tolerance.
My body still is resting, but it says bring it Wildflower. I see you on the schedule in 3 days and you know what!?!?!!? I am not afraid. I conquered Boston and Lavaman with coral in my foot padding, I will take you on with a pink sleeve on my head and a meerkat on my jersey. You will be pronked like those before you because sometimes all it takes is a racer’s turboheart, some hal mary’s if I am not blacked out by the run, and the spirit of Nancy Pants Amato coursing it ways through your veins. Pronking with meaning is important and can get you through everything, plain and simple. I haven’t had time to train like I need to but the races are fun and should remain that way. Seeing people you know and stopping to talk to them is underrated! You need to have a smile on your face, or you just aren’t running like the Tarahumara that we read about in “Born to Run”. Find your inner stallion and tell the unicorn to stay hidden till you’re finished.
As always, pronk responsibily, and don’t forget to reply to emails. Softball is more important than work, and that’s fact.
The Glass City Marathon With DR and Rohn
the glass city marathon in toledo, ohio (what, you didn’t know toledo was the glass city?) was my second marathon. my inexperience paid off.
the glass city marathon was much improved compared to last year. in 2009, i ran the half. the route for the half began at the 13.1 mile marker for the full and began at the same time. it went along the river from perrysburg to toledo. this year the start for the full and the half was at the same time and location, adjacent to the university of toledo football field. the half course was very nice. it ran through the ottawa hills neighborhood and through wildwood park. the route for the full stayed the course and kept going on to some mundane country miles out to sylvania. not much fun, but still an improvement. the finish for both courses was on the football field. since most runners are wannabe athletes that never played a real sport or are trying to duplicate athletic success from their youth, this was quite a thrill for most.
please let it end soon
so, how’d it go? well, i finished. yesterday’s glass city marathon was probably my worst run ever. this was the first race i ever felt prepared for. i actually trained, man! the training did pay off – i ran my fastest half marathon time ever (around 1:38). however, the training didn’t translate into preparedness for a full marathon. somewhere along the course my nutrition imploded and i ceased moving quickly. fortunately DR was there to prod me along and willed me across the line (that’s what pants off racers do. TWEET! TWEET!).
DR makes it look fun. it's not.
despite the struggle, i accomplished what i set out to do: finish a marathon in under 4 hours. my time was 3:57. i was dangerously close to falling short. at the end, my final motivation was that if i finished in under four hours, i would never have to run a marathon again. for about half the day after i finished, that was my mantra: i’m done with marathons, it feels so good. but here’s the thing: i know i can run better than i did. i should be finishing marathons much faster. i want to run a faster time. so, even though i spent yesterday swearing off marathons, i know i’m going to run another. no matter how miserable they are and how terrible yesterday’s was and how close i was to quitting, another marathon is in my future. i’ve never met a greater challenge. running a marathon is horrible. it’s easily the most difficult thing i’ve ever done. as long as i can run a marathon, i know there is no challenge too great.
agony
PORers katie amato, sloth, emily florian, and beth and meg poz all ran the half marathon. they all ran PRs. katie bested her PR by over 10 minutes and emily by 2!
Race Report: Holy Half Marathon
Holy Half Marathon
March 11, 2010
Notre Dame, IN
Tagged bryan lein, dr amato, geoff meyers, half marathon, holy half marathon, indiana, jenna hansen, notre dame, pronk-a-thon, pronking, race, south bend David Murphy, Geoff Meyers, Bryan Lein, Michael McKernan, Jenna Hansen, Cathy Zyra, Mr. Zyra, D.R. Amato
Overall, the Holy Half Marathon at the University of Notre Dame is a young, and relaxed event. Since it is on a college campus, there are a lot of young runners. With that said, you have a lot of first-timers running their first half-marathon, but also a group of elite runn
ers who still haven’t had the time to enjoy their first beer. It’s a fast race, and it consists of a double loop around the beautiful campus of Notre Dame. Our POR group was in full force and we had a great showing. It was fun to get involved with a group of us that ranged from first-time half marathoners (Murph, Cathy, Michael), and also some more experienced drinkers (Lein), and even a pair of immortal pronkers (Geoff, D.R.). So, with this mix of runners, combined with the debut of POR’s flashy jerseys, it made for a great day for all. I would recommend this even for almost anyone. It appeals to the average runner all the way to the most experienced and competitive runner.
Despite a slow start due to the sluggishness of the masses, the POR Fighting Meerkats ran in flying ‘V’ formation and split the hordes receiving aroused stares from all who caught sight of the spectacle.
In a staggering demonstration of strength, two of POR’s finest, Geoff Meyers and DRiz Vibrato, finished at 
the exact same time of 1:30:53 or 6:57 mile pace. That would be 60th and 61st place out of over 900 runners. Michael Mckernan wrapped up 220th place with 1:43:32/7:55 pace, and Dr. DG Murphy held down 268th with a time of 1:46:30/8:08 pace. MVP Bryan ‘Abraham Lincoln’ Lein courageously lead the entire run and heroically took a small nap near the lakes.
Also running, Guest of Honor Gary Zyra and Daughter Cathy Zyra of Pittsburgh crossed the finish lines to the awe and cheering of the masses.
This race also debuted the masterfully designed POR jerseys that will be sweeping the nation. Buy POR’s stock now as it is bound to rise sharply.
Merry Pronkmas to All and to All a good night,
Written by Dr. DG Murphy
Boston Pronkathon Photos
here are a few photos from annie of pronkstars pat and teapot pronking the boston marathon. they’re fast.
what’s the word for pronkstar groupies. we need one.
This Just In – Boston Pronkathon!
Must be the jerseys!
His Pronkness finished his first Boston Pronkathon today in 3:16. T-Pot also ran like a mad man and finished in 2:52, and the POR mascot Pelner ran all 26.2 miles in 3:14 – the fastest time ever recorded for a dog.
Pants Off Racing at the Boston Marathon 2010
Ace, Teapot, Pelner
Three Pants Off Racers off racers qualified for and ran in the Boston Marathon on this Patriots’ Day. That all posted incredible times. Running the Boston Marathon is as good as it gets for long distance runners. Hopefully we’ll have a larger team presence next year. Pictures on the way.
POR Application
For you newbies out there or all of you who have your application filled out sitting on your desk still, here is your chance for a clean application. Fill it out and send it in.
Jersey’s Update!
So we got some gear for you….
Jerseys:
We order from eastbay from the links below. Sizing runs a little big so keep that in mind. If you are interested in showing your support for POR and Pancreatic Cancer in races/training sessions/ or at Sunday morning mass, then these are a must.
We will place orders throughout the season and put the design on them. Cost for jerseys will run $25 + shippment costs to your house. Enjoy.
MEN visit: http://www.eastbay.com/product/model:132765/sku:8073219/Eastbay%20MM%202-Color%20Running%20Singlet%20-
T-Shirts:
For those of you not interested in racing attire, we have some t-shirt. Use the link below, and contact us with size, color, and quantity included with a mailing address so we can get them to you.
The T-shirt will only have the MeerKat logo and Tweet Tweet printed on the back. Choose any color available on the link. T-Shirt costs will be $18 + shipping.
place your orders by email – pantsoffracing@gmail.com
Get Some
Official Pants Off Racing logo. We are ordering singlets, tshirts, tattoos, leggins, goat bags, and so many other cool things plastered with the official pants off racing logo. Just email us and let us know what size you want and we will call it even.
We are sower we are STROSE!
Boulder based Anthem and anointed deputy (by his confirmation sponsor) John Christ Binger (confirmation name) Amato may soon join forces, just as I have joined forces with oasis 2.0 (shown in upper left hand of the picture). Our new clothing sponsor will be at all race events and most likely fashion the headwear apparel as Aunt Nancy Pants has been too busy signing up for the amazing race and running for political office from Amato HQ in Hermosa beach (which means beautiful in Mexican) to fashion us all with her beautiful tie dyed sleeves (http://hiphousewives.com/)!!!!
gooo gooo ga chooo! look like a dapper cholo in ur new anthem hat and trash stache. the ladies at work love both the hat and creepy stache, let them love. it’s not their fault their women!
wiki responsibly PORs!
TURKEYS & TURKETS
This is a racing team and we need to start racing. There are a few things we do well, and one of them is run for a cause. The cause in this race is gonna be FUN. years ago i think i ran across a story about running in costumes, not just your average daily jog, but an epic Pronkathon. These people joined the trifecta of sweetness as one: Exercise, Costumes, and Consumption (Drinking & Eating). There are only a few times you can really say you do this.
One would be tailgating
another may be Bay to Breakers in San Fran (www.baytobreakers.com)
and finally another being family reunions.
Regardless we have some racing to do…and the Marathon du Medoc is just this. We are primed to have the race be one of our finest moments of sheer will to drink while in costume for 26.2 miles. leading the charge is our hapless father figure, Chris Amato (aka NJ for 2010). he has never run before, like Chuck Norris, but he will prairie dogg wine country with the Frenchest Frogs.
here is the link so make sure you get your shoes broken in and get ur costume ready for this special event coming sept. 2010!
Our 2nd race of the year is for all you crazies that like long rides in vans and tweeting 200 mile races. We plan on taking on the next level of endurance racing, in teams! We are looking for a Riddick-ulous amount of Pronkstars to stack our 2 team roster with 12 members each. The race includes several legs of racing in which competitors will run between 4 and 6 miles at a time to run a total of 200 miles as a team. Most members will get in about 18 miles and receive a chalice of Wild Turkey upon arrival at the finish line.
DRizzle is working on the team jerseys with his friends on twitter, and these should be up on the website shortly. Again, tell us how interested you are in this. It is gonna be the breast race ever, and pronkbirds and lady pronkbirds are urged to sign up as soon as possible. Spots on the team will only last until registration via POR.com is closed. First come first served, so claim ur chalice soon.
Possible attendees for the race du medoc - Pronkburd, Binger von bingerstein, Amo, Mark Smith, Drizzle, Chris Mato (capt.), Novelon’s, host Randy Epping, jim Hummer, and many other pronkstars.
Attendees for the race du Turkey: Amato kids, Gerhard Lombard, Editor of POR.com Heidi Burkhart, Dell and Mrs. Dell, Uncle Nathan, T Pot, and Annie Pants Rapson.
TEAM DR & TRON
CLEAN PANTS (& HOPEFULLY UNDEROOS!)
The man to the wife brought his whitest whites, they were fresh from the sporting goods store and he wanted everyone to know he owns a bottle of bleach.
Alright to the real story…..PANTS HAS ANOTHER CLEAN SCAN!!! Thanks for always praying and thinking about the lady we call mom. She has been blessed with so many great friends. Any time you need a few prayers let us know, we def. owe yas a few.
As for the post that was meant to be a long time ago….
The Pan Can race. Here are a few of the photos that never were posted. hope you all enjoy and find time to join us for some races later in life. We have some good ones coming up, so send us an email at PantsOffRacer@gmail.com. We are waiting for your ideas, races, and IQ scores. And if you haven’t sent in your applications yet please do so. We are on call and always late to get back to people, but it isn’t our fault, we are too busy racing and looking for our pants (and having fun).
SUPER BOWL SHUFFLE
"LOOK THERE'S A NINJA TURTLE...AND A PIMP!"
Pants Off Racers stormed Redondo Beach for the Super Bowl Shuffle. For the King, pimp, Turtleman, and nerd the 2 free beers at the end provided us with all the motivation we needed to get to the finish line. Dr. jon needed a designated driver to take him to the race, fortunately Mr. Burg Err King was around to provide the transportation. This is the only photo evidence of the race, but man they are about as great as it gets.
- HE COULD GO ALL THE WAY
At one pt in the race a parent was telling his 3 yr old daughter to look for what was approaching, as he readied her he said “Hey look [enter daughters name here] female here comes a Ninja Turtle, and a …. pimp!” Haaa, it was classic, and we all made it, even Bonesaws sweater vest which threatened to disown him for wearing a polyester suit for a 6 mile run. It is good to report that his winter sweater is still intact, and ready to give Pelner a run this year at the Annual Xmas party ugly sweater hootenanny!
Hope you like the pics, they made me laugh to myself a lil more this weekend.
Remember, high levels of fun are dangerous, please have fun responsibly!
The Lost Race – Santa Barbara
Every year we make a pilgrimage to Santa Barbara to visit Wild Turkey himself and all the bachelorette parties that are up there. This year we decided we might as well do a race while we were at it. Good thing we had a race too, since Wild Turkey bailed on us for Vegas at the last minute. At least he still let us crash at his place, only problem was that we had to pick up the keys from his mom in Augora on our way up. This however turned out to be awesome as we got to hear all sorts of stories about how big of a nerd Ryan was growing up! After our detour to the wild turkey horse farm, we headed to Santa Barbara, checked in to the race, and unpacked our gear at Ryan’s place. Then we got some grub and hit the sack early.
We got up race morning at some ungodly hour and rode our bikes over to the start since Wild Turkey only lived a mile away. At the pre-race meeting they stressed safety, last year there was an unfortunate accident on the bike and a competitor lost control of her bike on a technical down hill portion and was killed. Always remember even in a race you got to be careful out there. For this race we would be in the 5thwave, which was a change of pace, but gave us plenty of time to set up our transition area and go for a quick warm up swim. Good thing we tested out the water before the start, it was freezing and would have been a shock if we waited to run in at the start. Other then being freezing the water was a slightly rocky, and don’t remember much else. Pat finished in around 30 min, and Pelner, well lets just say he finished.
The bike course was somewhat deceptive with gradual inclines being tougher then you could tell and the down hills a little faster than they appeared they should be. There was definitely some tricky descents, and the pre-race speech was enough to freak you out a little, so took it safe on some of the more challenging parts. It was still an awesome ride, despite some rough roads as well. It was cloudy and cool perfect for the bike leg of the race. Pat’s time was 1:38 and Pelner was in at 1:46.
The run was an out and back with a few hills on the way out, which made for a nice run back. It rained a little on the run, just enough to keep you nice and cool. The run was mainly along the coast with some nice scenery. Pelner had a sweet leg cramp on the run and clocked in at 1:12, but despite battling an Achilles injury Pat was able to come in at 1:07.
Overall Pronk finished in 3:23 and Pelner came in at 3:40. It’s definitely a race worth doing. Hopefully next year we can get Wild Turkey to join us and actually hit up some of those bachelorette parties after.
BIKRAM – Stay Loose PRONKSTARS
- RODNEY YEE – THE YOGA MASTER
Injuries are nothing you want to have to deal with. But we all get tired and worn out, and unfrotunately even older. My body is in breakdown mode and need of a bikram yoga vacation. My achilles is swollen up like a slinky and I can almost here it expand and contract. Well i was looking for stupid exercises to do to help cure this in the next week or so, and all I was told was to walk like a duck on my heals. So I looked like Mark Smith, except that I had to point my toes in the air. Now you look silly like that, but it works given time, rest, and ice. It is also helpful for shin splints, but lets look at something more practical. Here is a post that all of us can get something from. It is smart training, and will even help in your cross training and core development. Something lots of us don’t have time for or neglect since it is so time consuming, or we think it is, and the results are never what we want.
So here is the deal, if you don’t want to get injured or you just want to start a conversation with the hotties next to you in line to a movie you are going to by yourself, or you want to creep out or impress some co workers, get your arse to yoga classes. and not just any yoga…bikram yoga. Check out all the added benefits to this workout….. follow the article links for all the benefits. here are a few that are highlight.
yours truly,
downward facing p dogg
from: http://davidglover.net/2007/12/bikram-yoga-anniversary/
In my opinion, there are three primary reasons why endurance sports athletes should consider practicing yoga:
(1) Increased flexibility. As a multisport athlete, we need a full range of motion in order to be more efficient in our movements.
(2) Improved core and stabilizer muscle strength. Because we maintain the same positions for extended periods of time (e.g. 5 hours in a hunched over position during the 112-mile bike leg or running upright for 2 hours during a long run), we need a strong core and strong joints to support our bodies.
(3) Both of the above will help reduce the likelihood of overuse injuries (assuming adequate rest and reasonable training volume). Consistency in training is a key success factor in endurance sports. It’s difficult to be consistent when injured.
- DR at the gym
from: http://www.alive.com/5958a15a2.php?current_topic=34
Aside from the challenge, there are many other advantages associated with Bikram yoga. People from all fitness backgrounds and health histories see benefits through regular practice.
“I have been struggling with very tight and sore Achilles tendons and calves for almost a year, seeing specialists of all kinds without much success. After just three Bikram classes, I was virtually pain-free and able to play soccer at 100 percent!” says Bikram student Duane Marino. “It is an unexpectedly difficult workout that tests your balance, concentration, stamina, and strength, and uses every major muscle group
With benefits for all body parts, including increased energy and a renewed spirit, Bikram yoga is a way for anybody to enjoy what the heat has to offer.
from: http://www.tri247.com/article_2874.html
The heated room that the session takes place in helps ease muscles and joints and you leave feeling quite supple. The heat promotes sweating and detoxification and is designed to ‘deliver total health through the balancing and strengthening of every system in the body in order to prevent illness, injury and limiting the effects of aging’. Bikram specifically tailored moves which would ‘systematically move fresh oxygenated blood to 100% of the body – to every organ, bone, joint, muscle, ligament, tendon, tissue, fibre, blood vessel, nerve and gland’. With five years of experience behind me, I would have to agree with a lot of this.
Attending the evening session promotes a great night’s sleep. For the same reason the morning sessions can be quite dangerous!
- ZEN MASTERS
SWEAR – it’s SNOT all Aboot Races, even in La Canada
How about some fun, concerts, sports, ninjas, dogs and Meerkat Manner. There is time for all that as long as you make it.
training for an ironman isn’t all fun games, and it definitely isn’t all training and sweat. Yeah there are a lot of times that you just want to say Pronk that, I want a natty light chased with a turbodog and some wild turkey. be honest with yourself, let loose and go see Poison open up for Def Leppard.
Eat a sandwich that has a thousand calories in it.
Tell your mom you miss her, and tell your dad you’re not married yet because you want him to live vicariously through you forever!
Find a random group of pronkbirds to paintball with, and own them!
So bottom line is have some fun, or join a team that forces you to have fun. Don’t quit having fun because you’re getting older, college has passed by, and you started to gain weight in places you never thought were possible. I mean look at DR, I think he lost so much weight that most people can’t use him as a paper weight any more, he would blow away.
But start enjoying every day, or move somewhere that makes you smile when you get up, even after binging a good portion of the natty ice case you bought last night. Let your friends motivate you and if you ever lack in that area of your life, i think you have found the right team for you. Have fun putting your spandex on today, and go out there and prairie dogg some miles. It’s good for you and it will give you more energy and more smiles, especially when it is all over! Then crack that beer, wine bottle, or wild turkey…cause dammit you deserve it! you’re a living, breathing Pants Off Racer!
- There’s no such thing as a weekday any more!
Wake up today and feel the power of being able to workout! Grab that Monster or Enormous coffee mug and make everyone at work jealous that you’re having such a great week. Even if you have to fake it, people respond to others that smile and always seem to be having fun. it may be hard work on your tougher days, but I think in the end people are attracted to this energy. Be that person, and you never know what may happen. It definitely beats being the moody person at work that no one invites to lunch or Happy Hours. Give it a shot. Gobble Gobble.
Bike shop is Open
The bike shop is open. After reading lance armstong’s it’s not about the bike got a crazy idea to change thetires on m bike. This is one of the most arduous quick gear switches you can do. Trying to get that new tire over the rim of the wheel just doesn’t want to work. Took me twenty minutes for the first wheel only to realize that the box with new tires came with only one change of tires! So back to the shop tomorrow if they are open. Luckily I have a couple spare tires to use until I get that fixed up
I did notice that the usual round shape of the tire had been worn to a flat shape, almost making the tire “boxy”! Don’t let that happen, you’ll just be working harder. I guess that may help for ironman next week in Wisconsin.
Hurd,
THE CHAMP – NYC takes out the Field @ Nationals
Start the morning off listening to my tunes. Though I am usually an “In Search of Sunrise/Tiesto” Gal, I changed the tunes to make a tribute to Oakie. Paul Oakenfold that is. Partly because it is one of the G.U. series…Global Underground series—and well GU is also my energizer during the race. Love my Mint Chocolate GU…and Espresso Love. Stupid I know—but whatevs.
So jamming to Oakie G.U. New York—Disc 2. Perfect for setting my tempo for the bike leg—as too the run.
Transition bag ready to go—and head to transition with my FTE teammates.
Get marked. Get chip. Put around my ankle immediately seeing I lost this in NYC (but later located). Head to my bike—transition area. Flirt with a guy from Columbus to let me use his air pump to pump my tires—line at the bike support was forever long. And finish up setting up my transition area just so. Nerves start getting to me. I mean it is Nationals…but how much different than NYC could it be. I am to understand and believe that NYC pulls pretty solid athletes out…
I should have known when I saw athletes with their names splattered across the top of their bums with USA Team Onesy’s on…and their names on their bikes…that this race would be a doozy…
Head to swim start…
Jump in the water. Warm up for 2 minutes—and then head to position myself. Now I am the last person to say I am a good swimmer (yet). This is my weakest as of now—though I still position myself with probably the top of the swimmers. All of us hold on to the dock waiting for the gun to go off. “2 minutes left Ladies.” I am going off with my age group—even though I race Athena. Beats NYC where we went off with the Clydesdales. Now that was an interesting swim.
“15 seconds, Ladies.”
Trying to stay holding on as the girls now start getting feisty. At this point I am thinking maybe it was better going off with the Clydesdales. Mmm…yea. I think it actually was. Already kicking each other. Lovely!
“3…2…1!”
And the swim starts.
As I get my fair share of kicks in the face…jabs to the side…I start being the giver that I am and give back to the ladies…On the first turn, I start breathing to my dominant side and all I see is the sun. I clobber a girl…and realize it is Ali, one of my teammates. I quickly get away from her seeing that if that was me, I would start kicking faster and possibly kicking the girl who just clobbered me…no need to get in a swim brawl with my teammate. Lord. I clobbered my own teammate. Sweet!
Second turn coming up. Feel pretty good. Been focusing on sighting and gliding so actually feel I am making good time. As I finish my turn and make my first breathe. Sun. All I see is the sun. Damn, Mr. Sunshine. Need to breath from the left—but no buoys to keep me on track.
Note to next year participants, definitely do not wear your clear goggles. On the long straight away, if you are a dominant right side breather, all you will see is sun. Water is murky—even with clear goggles the most you will see is 3 inches in front of you. The River is named Black Warrior for a reason…
All in all, I ended up zigzagging here. Not too many buoys to sight with—and the sun left it hard to even see the upcoming buoys in the distance. My goal was to do my best to stay straight—keep it steady—and glide.
As I said, I am not the best swimmer. On this straight away I feel many “jammed it”…went at “solid effort”. In retrospect, I think I would have started doing spurts of solid and steady efforts on this straight away. Seeing that I did not, I started getting pummeled by the waves behind me. I would like to say it was only one wave behind…I am to believe some three and eventually four waves back literally dragged me under.
Eventually got to the last turn and straight away…and at this point, almost lost a battle to the buoy. Swam to close to the last buoy that the rope almost pulled me back…under. Classic. Classic move.
And it is here where I started doing my solid/steady pushes. A little late, but rather late than never. No Mr. Sunshine in my face—that was nice. Ended up heading in pretty straight so was quite excited. Got out. Checked my watch…
Started at 7:55 roughly…watch read 8:38. I took a double take. And still I did not believe it was a 40+ minute swim. Not until I got my results did I really believe it. Just as an FYI for racers next year. That morning they opened a Dam due to flooding issues…so we had a pretty strong current. Some had commented that they felt they were in an “endless pool”…just not getting anywhere. I just thought I was going steady and gliding quite well. Little did I know that I was actually gliding the opposite way. As I said, I am not a strong swimmer. For another prospective on the swim, my coach usually does the swim in 20 or so minutes…he was in the 30-minute range…and wearing a “speed suit”. So pretty strong current. Moral of the story, training in the pool not the same as training in the open water with currents and waves…shocking I know!
Out of the water—head up a pretty short but steep run up to the transition area. Noticed most bikes gone—all the bikes with the names that is. Definitely a different caliber of athlete here. I with Jacques, my 3+ year old Specialized Allez road bike, racing along with the Cervelo, Jamais, Blue bikes. Poor Jacques!
Note that I must learn the rubber band trick for getting on the bike out of transition…but for now I strap in to my shoes. Goggles on. Helmet on. Head out of transition. If you are the stalker of the race and race better chasing down your prey, this course is a great one for you. Lots of ins and outs to see your prey. If you are one not to like to see your prey, then tough luck.
Bike was two loops with a total of six out and backs—if I remember correctly. Hilly. Sunny. Hardly any shade, if any. Was rather disappointed being that they were shallow, steady climbs with crappy down hills. I tend to like down hills and tucking to give my legs a rest…no hills really gave way to deserving to “tuck”. Into the ride, my legs took a while to loosen up. Most likely the length (time) of the swim coupled with the four glasses of wine on Friday (the day before) probably did not help. Kept hydrating on the bike. Had two bottles in the cages on Jacques. And had one and half GUs on the ride. Took the whole first loop for my legs to loosen—and as for passing folks. Far and few between. I felt like a TNT athlete riding on the right the whole time. Might as well just had a bell on my handle bars and basket for VivVie (my 3.5 lbs Maltese—yes I am “that girl”).
In the last in and out, finally saw Jess—my teammate…my “prey”. Definitely gave me an extra push to catch her. So started jamming on the few straight-aways left. I am still learning the art of efficiency—and again, should have been doing a few more solid/steady efforts a little earlier on. Quite a few straight-aways that lean themselves to pushes. Got to the dismount. And ran in for the last leg…the run.
Of note, fastest bike was 27+ mph. Oy vey!
Into the run, I realized I was most likely 5 minutes away from Jess. I would imagine that she had 5 minutes on me on the swim—and as for the bike we typically are pretty much in line with one another. Just need to maintain an 8-min mile. Jess is typically just shy of 9-min miles. For me, an 8-min mile is pretty much my RP (Race Pace). Heading out on the run, I was exhausted. Had frozen a bottle of water that morning to carry with me at the start of the run to poor over my head. (After the swim and bike, all the ice had melted leaving ice cold water.) I am happy I had this. Right away I took it and poured some on my neck and wrists. Ice cold. Absolutely delish!
A half a mile into the race, I started to get in a mood. Was not into it mentally. Rather over the race. No shade for rather all of the race thus far. No promise of shade to come. Hot. Humid. Done with it. I studied the course and knew the first 3 miles were hills. And training in New York—well just like the pool training—not much of hill training when you run the Westside Highway mostly (completely flat). Tried to stay optimistic and get into the race…so started to think of Oakie tempo here. If I didn’t, I would have probably been curled up on the side of the road with a sign that side, “Toledo or Bust”. I just wanted my mummy at this point. Oakie though saved me—and I finally zoned out. Kept my tempo steady. Kept my head in the game.
First hill. Long and gradual. Almost died. Wanted to walk so bad. Saw Billy, another teammate of mine cruising down the downhill of this in and out—arms going wild. Thought to myself, “so that is how you go downhill”. Ended up making it up with a steady jog…and started to go down the hill—attempted the wailing arm trick. Ten seconds into the wailing arm/pinwheel downhill, decided that was a not for me. (As a side note, Billy qualified for Budapest and is a killer triathlete.)
Second hill. Short but very steep. My least favorite of all of them. Felt I was trying to scale a wall. Nothing more to say, except that it sucked.
Third hill. Gradual. Rather long and windy if I remember correctly…the sun and heat started getting to me where I became dazed. But, but then I saw Jess on her way down. Once I reached the top realized that I was about two minutes behind her. Recharged. Rebooted. Three miles left—and a little rolling but mostly down hill from here.
Entered a little pathway that made you think you were finally getting some shade. Um. Yeah. All two tenths of a mile of shade…maybe. Take it where you can I guess. Spotted Jess a little ahead of me. Water station coming up. See Jess stopped for a quick second. Start picking up my pace. At most, I have 24 minutes left—3 miles left—easy, I got this. On flats/gradual downhills I should at least average 7:40s RP right now. Get to water station.
“No more water. Gatorade?”
You have to be kidding me. Sun beating down on me. No shade basically the whole race and the run out of water. I hear someone complain behind me—which made me empathize with the water station peeps. Ok. So, no water. Races are not meant to be perfect, clearly!
Take a Gatorade. Dowse myself with it to cool off. Swam in murky water—so being a little sticky later will only make a shower feel that much better. And that idea, umm…well, it did not work. Gatorade at this point was rather the same temp as outside which at this point was 90+ degrees Fahrenheit. Sounded like a good idea.
A person is yelling, “one mile coming up.” I do not know if someone was really yelling this or all was a mirage—words I wanted to hear. Regardless, I pick up the pace even more. Breathing pretty heavy at this point. Get up right behind Jess. Not sure if I have to worry about someone else (another “prey”) but highly unlikely. Jess was last year’s National Champ for Athena so I bet no for this year…no other prey. I stay behind her for a short while. Literally behind her. Breathing heavy. Do not think she knows it is me. Get to her speed. Sit on her for a few more seconds to catch my breath. And what I mean by catching my breath, I basically sounded like a freakin’ donkey. Heehaw! Got myself to a calm breath.
Time to move. Need this to be over. Pick up the pace—and pass her.
“Suck it.” She says in a low, tired breath—as though she did not want me to hear.
What? What did she just say to me? Did she just tell me to suck it? Jess? Really? Seriously? (I asked her later that day—she swore that is not what she said…but throwing a few F bombs around may have been the case. Ok. So she said Fuck it…)
Caught her with one mile to go. Again, no shade. Just wanted to be done with this. Picked up the pace to basically all I had left. My body was definitely feeling it—my legs were done. In yoga, a teacher taught me that when the pain became so unbearable to just focus on one thing in front of you—and just focus on this. The pain will dissipate if you truly are focused. I do this. I focus on the various trees I am running to at this point. At the random racer that is in front of me. I focus so hard, I become relaxed in this state. It worked. I am at full force with only a few more steps. 5. 4. 3. 2…and I cross the line. Kneel down. Head below heart. And a lady begins to pour water over me. Loving this! Absolutely, loving this! First season. At Nationals. Competing with the top of the top in the U.S. And I have crossed the finish line!
Overall, I would say the course was extremely challenging mentally and physically…and the experience, quite humbling.
Results of the race. I believe 53rd in my age division (25-29)…But as for my division, Athena, I am National Champ baby! On the road to build up Team Athena. Goal for next year, race Athena but be in the top 10 of my age group. As for now, on to the next…Team Nationals—Oklahoma City or bust!
POR Places Twice Times in Top 5!
Chicago Triathlon
August 30, 2009
Robbie Guy and I traveled to the windy city this past weekend to dust off our racing shoes and join 4000+ other triathletes in the largest triathlon in the nation. The expo was very good, the course turned out to be great, and the whole thing was pretty well organized.
I wasn’t aware that I was babysitting this weekend until I had the privilege of introducing our newest member, Robbie Guy Layman to our sponsor Wild Turkey on friday night during our stop at ND. To say the least, he felt the powers of Turkey! But, like a true Pants Off Racer, he took it in stride and killed the triathlon on sunday.
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Course:
Swim: 26:37
.9 miles – Lake Michigan never felt so suffocating. It was a water start so we all started in the water next to eachother in waves of 100+. Robbie and I were in the 20-24 age group with 155 other dudes. The swim course was right along the waterfront in the yacht club area near Navy Pier. I had been swimming a lot lately, but not like this. I got about 100 yards into the swim and couldn’t even breath. I was sucking in water like no other, my extra medium wetsuit was suffocating me, and I couldn’t even swim. I felt like Pronk out there doing frog strokes for the first 10 minutes of the swim. After I managed to overcome the panic attack of not being able to breath, I finally got into a groove to finish up the swim. It was a pretty demoralizing start to a race, but my time wasn’t nearly as bad as I had thought – wetsuits make a big difference I guess.
T1: 1:44
450 yards – I was just happy to get out of the water at this point. T1 was a nice run along the way to get to our bikes. Nothing special really happened here.
Bike: 1:04:12; 23.6 mph
24.8 miles – The bike course was great. It was right on Lake Shore Drive and was a 2 loop course going north. Going out on Lake Shore was straight out into the wind – serious wind. But, of course, coming back the wind was right behind us. Going out at 20 mph and coming back at 28 mph is never a bad day. I was expecting a lot out of this race, but after a pitiful swim I was pretty discouraged about the whole thing. The bike felt pretty good though, I just cranked out as hard as I could the entire ride thinking about all the training I have done this summer. 25 miles doesn’t seem like much when your training rides last for hours – it was by far the best biking i have ever done in a race.
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T2: 3:28
Robbie Guy had been talking some serious smack about this race ever since we signed up. As i remember him saying, and I quote, “I’m definitely a better swimmer than you, a little faster on the bike that you, and probably better at the transitions. Plus, I ran a 40 minute 10k. So, bascially D.R., your not going to beat me unless i die on the run.” Thanks to Robbie’s encouragement and the Wild Turkey babysitting I had been doing all weekend, I was really pissed. I passed Robbie on the turn-around on the bike and knew he wasn’t gonna catch me on the run. So, basically, when I saw Robbie in T2, i was a little surprised and knew I had to put in a good run to cap off my dominance of Robbie Guy.
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Run: 38:23; 6:11 pace
6.1 miles – The run course looped around the waterfront near the Shed Aquarium and came back to finish a block or two away from the swim start. Going out on the water we had the wind at our backs, but I didn’t really realize how much wind until I turned around to have it in my face. I did great when the wind was helping me along, but couldn’t keep up my pace once I made the turn. Overall, it was a good strong run and I felt fresh. I should have pushed it a little harder, especially miles 4 & 5. Mile times: 5:54, 6:02, 6:03, 6:19, 6:21, 6:36, and finished the last in 1:07. I really wanted to hit 36 minutes but I’ll take those times for today.
Overall: 2:14:25; 30th/4243
I was happy with how I finished. It was my first triathlon in almost a year and I’m glad I got back to racing before Wisconsin. I was surprised to find out that I placed 3rd and Robbie 5th in our age group. It’s amazing actually considering the swim.
Official Results:
Robbie Guy:
| Distance | Intermediate |
| Clock Time | 02:17:01 |
| Overall Place | 47 / 4243 |
| Gender Place | 47 / 2951 |
| Division Place | 5 / 157 |
| Swim | 00:25:02 |
| Trans1 | 00:01:56 |
| Bike | 01:06:39 |
| Trans2 | 00:02:41 |
| Run | 00:40:42 |
| Swimrank | 110 |
| Bikerank | 123 |
| Mph | 22.8 |
| Runrank | 60 |
| Pace | 00:06:33 |
Amato:
| Distance | Intermediate |
| Clock Time | 02:14:25 |
| Overall Place | 30 / 4243 |
| Gender Place | 30 / 2951 |
| Division Place | 3 / 157 |
| Swim | 00:26:37 |
| Trans1 | 00:01:44 |
| Bike | 01:04:12 |
| Trans2 | 00:03:28 |
| Run | 00:38:23 |
| Swimrank | 241 |
| Bikerank | 51 |
| Mph | 23.6 |
| Runrank | 23 |
| Pace | 00:06:11 |
BiNGER VON GREENENStein
here’s another one of our PSA’s, all you pronkstars get out there and turborpronk some miles! keep up with the great eating habits and stretching. one year it will all pay off, if only you listen to the insightful videos of Von Bingerstein! he will keep you thumping those miles!
Play Ball, HURD
Pronkwear – TEAM POR tweets
Thanks to our smallest team member, Mike Mini Speedo Bulfin for his latest design of Pronkwear. We are ready to rock the new shirts around town, and possibly the globe. Members can start putting in their orders by the dozen. Hopefully fake tattoos for the team are next to come.
your neighbors always were jealous, give them another reason to envy you. chayaaaaa!
GRAMMA TRI’S
This newbie crushed out his first Triathlon this weekend. In his glorious speedo Gramma Green dominated competition and anxiety to get the the finish in an outfit only his mom could like. His previous race experience only included Zahm House bun runs and a couple marathons he prairie dogged back in the day, so this was another big accomplishment for the Man from Memphis.
His main motivation for the race was to work on his chicken legs and fit into his christmas sweater, borrowed from his real grandma, another year! The annual Pants Party means that much to him that he would don some spandex to make it back into his fav. cardigan!
POST RACE PIC featuring the one and only Gramma Green
Gramma’s training consisted of a lot of laying (shown below) and deep fried southern style foods. Gramma learned the techniques of laying from the great T POT. Since college T Pot has stopped laying and been running with Kenyans and Mexicans through NYC, and even signed up for a tri in 2 weeks in Madison Wisconsin. SO it has beena few years since Nick Green and T Pot put out the Joey and Chandler Bing vibe.
Gramma, we all want to congratulate you on the success of your first tri. Pronk is proud of yas, and we hope u continue to race – Pants OFF. For all you newbies please feel free to ask our favorite Gramma (ngreen42@gmail.com) how he did and overcame the anxiety of a mass swim start and never having done a triathlon until he was 26 yrs old. You’re never to old to try, so go buy ur speedo from Splish swimwear and get it done.
HE HAW, POR! TRI OR DIE.
OASIS BREAKS UP – APOCALYPSE IS UPON US!!!!
AN ENTIRE PLANET/PANTS OFF FAMILY CRIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Noel Gallagher says he has quit Oasis – claiming he could not go on working with brother Liam “a day longer”.
Looking back in anger: Noel Gallagher goes his own way The announcement came just hours after the band cancelled their second gig in a week. In a statement on the band’s website, Noel said: “It’s with some sadness and great relief to tell you that I quit Oasis tonight. “People will write and say what they like, but I simply could not go on working with Liam a day longer. “Apologies to all the people who bought tickets for the shows in Paris, Konstanz and Milan.”
The band were expected to perform at the Rock en Seine festival in Paris this evening. But the crowd were told by Bloc Party, who were due to perform before Oasis, the Manchester band would not be taking the stage.
Some fans thought it was a joke – until the big screens at either side of the stage displayed the message: “As a result of an altercation within the band, the Oasis gig has been cancelled.”
Ben Clover, 28, who travelled from south London for the festival, said: “There are a lot of British Oasis fans who have come over for this gig and they are very disappointed.”
Last weekend Oasis pulled out of the V Festival in Chelmsford, which they were meant to headline.
The band cancelled because front man Liam was struck down with viral laryngitis.
But their non-appearance sparked rumours they were set to split.
Earlier this month Liam revealed his turbulent relationship with Noel was so bad that they no longer speak, limiting their contact to exchanging insults on Twitter.
Liam told the NME: “He doesn’t like me and I don’t like him, that’s it.
“He hasn’t told me what he thinks of anything this year. We’ve got nothing to say to each other at the moment.”
Oasis fans have taken to Twitter to express their dismay at Noel’s departure.
PsychedelicAdam said: “Noel Gallagher leaves Oasis? Gutted, no more Oasis then I guess, they were one of my favourite bands.”
Wolvolass posted: “I feel sick, sooo many good memories and gigs seeing Oasis over the years.”
MattGriffin added: “This is the worst day ever”
Keep Pronking – Motivate for March 21
No surprise here, Von Binger brings the enter to entertainment.
Check out his newest PSA for team POR. This Pants Off Racer is throwing out the challenge to all of yas, brought to you courtesy of Energy cologne.
dublin ohio half marathon race report by coach rohn anato
taken from rohn’s personal blog, juplife.com. all ohio state fans should check out his sweet osu shirts.
today’s race in dublin, ohio was amazing. we had a great group put together. DR, katie, sprout, and i drove down saturday for the race. saturday night we had our ritual prerace night dinner at panera. we took fellow POR team member cousin jeff mcclellan with us. jeff wasn’t signed up for the race yet. we put pressure on him right away to run. by the end of dinner, he was figuring out the route we were going to run. that’s commitment to the team.
jeff crosses the finish
the race had significance for a lot of us. it was katie’s first race, sprout is in training for the philadelphia marathon in november, jeff was completely unprepared, and i was just hoping my knee would survive.
kat money finishes
katie finished her first half in under two hours. quite impressive for a first attempt and very little preparation in recent weeks.
sproutworx
sprout and his fancy green shoes kept to the training program with a strong run. he finished ahead of katie with a specially designed air conditioning beard. he’s ready for the real deal.
twins fans
emily and allison florian are our biggest and best fans. this is the second race they’ve come out to support us. they’re teaming up at the spirit of columbus and running as a relay team. i think emily is ready for a half on her own.
who's the big winner? DR is.
DR set out to qualify for the new york marathon with his run today. in order to do that, he needed to finish in 1:23 or better. he finished in ~1:21:30. the route we took had us cross paths a couple times. a tall bearded man led most of the run. after i crossed the finish, DR was already out looking for the rest of the team. i approached the assumed winner and asked him his time. he said, “1:23″. so i asked about the kid who finished behind him and he said, “you mean the kid who beat me? he finished about a minute and a half in front of me”. that means that team POR claimed yet another victory this weekend. it is DR’s first race victory. not bad for a kid who doesn’t even consider himself a runner.
DR is a better eater than runner
perhaps DR’s greatest accomplishment of the day came when we dined at thurman’s cafe after the race. thurman’s cafe was in a recent episode of man vs. food. DR has had an absolutely insatiable appetite lately with all of the training he’s been doing. we both ordered a thurman-ator: two 12 oz beef patties, ham, bacon, cheese, grilled onions and lettuce. he devoured his, the side of fries, and some of sprout’s pretzel bites. eating the entire thurman-ator was twice the challenge as the race for me. i nearly horked on several occasions. DR hardly broke a sweat. that’s the stuff champions are made of.
team POR at the dublin half maraton
it was a great day. i’m so glad sprout survived his megabus trip from chicago, jeff was fun enough to sign up the night before, katie challenged herself and exceeded her expectations, DR accomplished what he set out to do and brought home the gold, and my knee held up. we were all champions today. anyone willing to train, get up in the early morning, stare at the 13 miles ahead of them, and keep moving until they step over the finish line can’t be anything but a champion in my eyes.
the key to a race is simple: 1) start running, 2) don’t stop, 3) stop at the finish line.
Pants Off Racing with Bulls
POR has finally made it international at the Running of the Bulls. Remember kids: “With great mustache comes great responsibility.”
FUTURE Pantless Racer
Subway, hah, I'm losing the spare tire by racing Pantless. Na Na
This is a diesel man, meant to pronk (eat) marathons swift like a cheetah. just wait till he sheds the pounds and gives up Burracho Burrito for 5th meal. He will prove he is not anorexic, and definitely be an inspiration like his ex step cousin B Dinger.
AND THE PANTS COME OFF!!!!!!!!!
Guys, it is that time. Finally an event to support that involves the true PANTS, Nancy Pants Amato. Come RockTober 25th there will be our first race in the honor of POR, tweet tweet go the Pronkbirds! It is called the LA Cancer Challenge. You are all welcome to come walk, skip, run, sprint, or lunge through this amazing event.
LA Cancer Challenge Event link.
Uncle Nate did all of the above to finish his first race of any kind, outside of the Teens High on Lifer race in StRose elementary school. It was a proud day in the Lone Star state.
We have a team set up and everything. We will be bringing our honorary Matron from start to finish. She has been doing her part by partaking in Spartan workouts at the track in the humidity of beautiful HIO! She is almost ready to show y’all her pink kicks and laces that match them. Anyway, let’s try and sign up as many as possible. POR is going to represent en masse, and even if you’re not running with us in LA, show your support by running another race or 5k at your own leisure this same weekend.
This guy is coming, so pack in his creep car and meet us thar.
So here is how it goes, you can join the Nancy Pants team online by following this link.
Once you get to that link you just hit the Join Our Team hyperlink and it will guide you to team membership. Pants is making shirts out for everyone, ones that were designed by someone sweet, so make sure you email us with ur confirmation and tell us your size of shirt. This event falls on Pronkbird’s b-day weekend, so lots of Turbodogs and Wild Turkey will be required! hope you are all ready for the madness and are looking good without pants.
This will be an epic event with lots of photo evidence of how sweet it is to race as one, and how great it is to make a difference to all those battling such and awful disease. Please consider at least being a donor or finding others to sponsor the cause, because without getting out there and letting people know about the men and women that are dealing with this type of cancer, we won’t be able to reach the broad audience we are hoping to inform.
Chicken legs of all shapes and sizes welcome.
Thanks for your support, more to come! This is part of your new team, never a dull moment with the guy in the corner.
Oh and don’t forget to Carbo Load, PORers!
Race Report: New York City Triathlon
New York City Triathlon:
July 26, 2009
Gerhard Lombard
Where to begin?
I suppose race morning is as good a place as any. It would fair to say that New York in July can be humid. And hot. It was both. I woke up at 4:45am to the sound of rain pouring on the roof. The downpour obligingly let me get down to the race start at the 79th Street Boat Basin, before soaking everyone that didn’t get wet enough the first time with a second shower. Bikes were dropped off the night before and locked up at T1, so saddles and tires were wet by the time we got there. There were plenty of toilets, and the New York summer definitely made those babies percolate. Swim start was a mile upriver on the Hudson from 79th Street, so after dropping off gear and checking on bikes, everyone moved uptown in a huge perastaltic movement that deposited us on the river, at 98th Street. It was a big race with over 3,000 athletes, and 4 waves in my age group.
Swim
The swim was fast. The current was so strong that we had to hold on to the safety rope attached to the jetty to avoid being swept out to Greenland or Portugal. There is no way to swim upriver in this sucker. Swallowing the water is also not recommended. No surprise attacks by jelly fish from the deep this year, but the river definitely left an oily aftertaste in my mouth that I had the pleasure of retasting a couple of times during the bike. I made a mental note to post-humously donate my skin to medical research. The course itself is a little disappointing for those expecting a true river swim in the middle of the Hudson. Swimmers are restricted to a narrow course close to the seawall and the exit is up a set of stairs (and over a timing mat) close to 79th Street. I expected this to be a bottleneck but it was not. My swim time was 18 minutes (and I just floated down on my back) – definitely a good course for weak swimmers.
Bike
T1 is a little tricky, with a 700 yard run to the bikes, and some sharp turns and a steep hill on the way out. After this the course was very flat. I was flying in the high 20′s and low 30′s for stretches at a time, with a top speed of 39.2mph. The northbound lane of the Westside Highway was shut down for the race so the course was a straight-as-an-arrow shot up towards the Bronx, and then a lazy turn to the right, quick U-turn and all the way back to 79th Street. An easy ride, but I saw many mechanical failures (mostly tires, but also a surprising number of chain pops that apparently couldn’t be corrected on the fly), and hundreds of water bottles popping off bikes due to the uneven road surface. Maybe not hundreds, but a lot. The best part of the bike race was watching New Yorkers be themselves. Everyone in New York is a rock star Macca-like triathlete stud (of course), so everyone has the right to ride on the left. Which means it’s almost impossible to pass anyone. Now imagine the almost stream of constant verbal abuse from the guys trying to pass. Fantastic.
Run
T2 was uneventful, and the run takes you up 72nd Street into Central Park for a clockwise loop around the West side and back down to 72nd Street on the East side of the park, and then into the middle for the finish. Some technical hill climbs. I lost my focus on the run, missed my mom, cried a little, but pulled it together for the finish. Great support from the crowd all the way through. Hydration every mile with Cytomax and water.
Overall, a speedy course – final time was 2:21:33.
Splish getting Daps in Tri Mag
Keri, shark food, pink, stinker, Uncle Nate
Just ran through the last article of Triathlon Magazine and saw an article shouting out Splish Swimwear. I have several Splish suits, thanks to fellow team Member Keri Hehn. She recently competed in the World Championships in the breast stroke in Rome. I am sure Splish has the right suit for you since they come customized. Regardless, if you wear one of these guys you are bound to get some attention. I know DRizz has one with a skunk on it, and my hot pink tiger striped speedo is nothing to be ashamed of. Happy birthday suits for everyone. Let Keri know the design you prefer and maybe she can get the whole team a set! Yeahya.
Binger’s Pronk-a-thon Report!
THE 2009 SAN FRANCISCO PRONK-A-THON REPRONK
by Binger Von Bingerstein
HURD! All that turbopronk’n of pavement, prairie dogg’n of hills and hampster wheelin’ 10-15 miles a day really paid off for Binger Von Bingerstein and P-Dinger!!
However, suspicion has it that P-Dinger might have cheated to be able to turbopronk that ‘thon in 3 hrs 4 min because Binger Von Bingerstein pronk’d just as hard if not harder and the judges say he timed in at 4 hrs 38 min.
The night before the Pronk-A-Thon, Binger Von B and P-Dinger stayed with P-Dinger’s friend, Frosty, up on Larkin Street, which is located at the top of San Francisco’s tallest hill. Only the strongest prairie dogs can pronk it. Frosty, a generous man and a big part of Team Pronk / Pants Off Racing came through huge with providing his out of town roommate’s bed for P-Dinger and a couch for Binger Von B. P-Dinger and Von B bought Frosty a coffeemaker and a toaster because they needed coffee and toast in the morning before the race. Frosty needed these two accessories anyway.
What follows is an actual conversation between Von B and P-Dinger the night before the ‘thon:
VON B: Should I pronk my cell phone to the ‘thon Dinger?
P-DINGER: Nah, leave it. We’ll meet up at the finish line and I’ll drive us back to Frosty’s in my rented Mercedes pronkmobile.
VON B: I’ll probably finish turbopronkin’ the ‘thon between 11:30am and noon.
P-DINGER: Hurd. I’ll meet you at the finish line between 11:30am and noon and I’ll pronk us back to Frosty’s. Capiche?
VON B: Capiche.
(remember this conversation)
It’s 4:45am Sunday morning: the morning of the SF Pronk-A-Thon. P-Dinger and Von B’s
nipples are Neosporin’d and Band Aid’d to circumvent pronk-chafing. Baby Powder is the prevailing scent in P-Dinger’s rented Mercedes pronkmobile (Von B’s secret remedy to avoid bum chafing – apply liberally). You could cut the tension and focus in the air with a slap chop. P-Dinger’s struggling to find the route from Frosty’s to the Pronk-A-Thon on his iphone. Binger Von B is requesting that they listen to Seal before the ‘thon. “We’re never gonna survive, unless we go a little crazy.” A motto Binger Von B pronks his life to, but P-Dinger denies Von B of his Seal fix. So instead, Team Pronk’s soundtrack on the way to the race consists of Lil’ Wayne or something like that. P-Dinger’s taste in pronkmusic isn’t his most sophisticated trait.
Von B and P-Dinger finally find parking near the starting line and the lines for the pronkrooms are several miles long, but P-Dinger and Von B wait it out to get a quick pronk in before the ‘thon. Binger Von B escorts P-Dinger to the starting line as he is in the first wave among the Kenyans and Olympic turbopronkers. Von B is in the eighth wave among the first-timers, cougars, snapping turtles and all around slower pronksters.
The clock strikes 5:30am. The pronkgun fires and P-Dinger sling-shots out of the pronkgate to turbopronk the 2009 SF Pronk-A-Thon.
Binger, in his “Go Dumb” shirt, waits an hour for his wave to start pronkin’. 6:52am rolls around and Binger Von B kicks off his turbopronkin’ with a bang! Von B rockets past every member of his wave justifying an earlier wave for the next pronk-a-thon he pronks.
Binger Von B turbopronks the Golden Gate Bridge, prairie dogs Golden Gate Park and powers through the Haight Ashbury District where psychedelic hippy pronksters cheer Binger on because they know Binger Von B’s a kindred spirit. Seeing Binger’s shirt they yell “Go Dumb!” And Binger passionately replies “GO DUMB! PRONK HARD!”
Binger soars through the finish line chute with tears of victory and glory! P-Dinger has long finished the pronk-a-thon. It’s 11am. Binger has finished early, so he figures he’ll wait a half hour or so for P-Dinger to pick him up because, as per their conversation, they were to meet at the finish line between 11:30am and noon. P-Dinger is nowhere to be found. Von B is worried that P-Dinger may be in the hospital suffering some fluke pronk injury. Quite the contrary, true colors were pronk’d when a cashless, cell phoneless Binger Von B is waiting for P-Dinger at the finish line so he can drive him back up the 90 degree hills of San Fran to Frosty’s apartment, but P-Dinger never shows. Binger Von B’s elation after having turbopronk’d that ‘thon quickly turns to fury and frustration. There sits a dejected, sun-burned, sore and frustrated Von Bingerstein waiting at the finish line for two and a half hours for P-Dinger, who is already pronkin’ his way down the 101 freeway in his rented Mercedes pronkmobile with his lady pronkbird LA bound pronkin’ a 6 dollar pronkburger from the Arroyo Grande Carly Jr. burping “tweet tweet.”
Von B is left in the lurch. What does Von B do? He gets in a cab and begs the cabbie to take him up to Frosty’s apartment with the faith that Frosty would be home to let him in so he could grab cash and pay the cab fare. The cabbie says “NO DEAL.” The cabbie was, however, generous enough to give Von Bingerstein the longest possible walking route to Frosty’s apartment. Von B ends up prairie dogging another 6 miles up the treacherously steep San Francisco hills back to Frosty’s apartment. Luckily, Frosty was home to let Binger in.
Needless to say, Binger Von Bingerstein deserves another medal for pronking a total of 32.2 miles on the day of the San Francisco Pronk-A-Thon. No thanks to P-Dinger who claims he took a half-hearted gander around the finish line looking for Binger, but didn’t see him. All is not lost though, P-Dinger has agreed to treat Binger to a juicy steak at The Sherm (Binger’s favorite eatery) to make up for his selfishness and Binger Von B has graciously accepted the offer and has since forgiven him.
Let this be a lesson to all you at Pants Off Racing. Either pronk a phone with you or drive yourself to the pronk-a-thon. Pronk hard everybody! Go Dumb!
-Binger Von Bingerstein LLC Inc. 2009 ©
GO DUMB PANTS OFF RACING – the story of Binger and Pronk
We were monsters, our moms (and yours) would be proud. We pronked the THON and the Golden Gate bridge nearly before the sun was up.
Needless to say we prairie dogged those mini pronk hills in san fran, carbo loaded with plenty of delish granola, and made sure Frosty had a new toaster and coffee maker upon our departure from the great state of san fran bay
It ended with a bang, Binger hit his stride the whole way and came out with a new PR of 4:38. All his training paid off and he still can heed the advice of his life coach, the Raw Devastator, “Some people get in shape to run marathons, I run marathons to get in shape!” well as you would know B Dinger, our fav. Ex step cousin would work it more like “I don’t get in shape to pronk marathons, I pronk marathons to take my pants off”!
In any event, the race was great but the company was better as u can see. Come race with us, it’s more than an experience, it’s a pronkstyle. And don’t forget to pick up ur very own bottle of Pronk Powder!
Race Report: Cape Cod Mini-Triathlon
Matt Westhoven and friends
Falmouth, Cape Cod
July 19, 2009
Course is on the Atlantic Ocean (vistas and Martha’s Vineyard are with you most of the way):
- 1/3-mile swim: rectangle design; Atlantic Ocean in Nantucket Sound; normally in low to mid-70s.
- 9-mile bike: scenic loop along the Falmouth Road Race course. Some strategic twists ‘n turns and gently rolling terrain.
- 3.1-mile run: flat, scenic, ocean-hugging, out-and-back along Surf Drive and onto the bike path towards Woods Hole.
Not enough training for me…in fact I gained 2-3 pounds over the training period leading up to the race (I like to drink beer). I’m also anti wetsuit and spandex (because I’m not gay), so apparently I lost a little time due to that (but I still have my manhood).
Finished 132 out of 600 participants, total time of 1:03:21.
Swim:
(1/3 mile) – 8:48 (316th): not bad for me, I was happy with this part
Bike:
(9mile)- 30:04 (89th): not bad either..especially since my bike is pretty basic compared to some of the all-stars there.
Run:
(3.1 mile) – 24:28 (152nd): this was a disaster. I’ve done this same race in 3 full minutes less time…fat, cramping, hot..oh, and fat.
…that’s all i got…official results site below…
http://www.timeoutproductions.com/results/09/falmouth/FINDRES.txt
POR BREAKING NEWS!!!
Team POR has been busy lately. With race season in full swing now, we have some important things to report…
T-POT won his divison in a spring triathlon last weekend. Congrats!
FAT WADLEY entered what sounds like the swimming equivalent to a marathon the other week and swam 6 miles in the ocean. Naturally, he won.
HEIDI BURKHART won her division in the NYR triathlon this past weekend. That’s pretty sweet. I also received her $1 application fee in the mail today even though she emailed her actually application to me. Now, that’s dedication.
JULIE SKALAMERA and GERHARD LOMBARD also competed and finished the NYC triathlon this weekend. They did not win their age group, but GERHARD has promised us another race report.
MATT WESTHOVEN completed a spring triathlon this past weekend. He is our token clydesdale of the team. Race Report to follow.
POR’s KERI HEHN is in Rome, Italy right now swimming for the US of A in the World Championships. I don’t really know what to say about that except its a big f-ing deal.
PRONK AMATO and EX-STEP COUSIN BINGER ran the San Francisco Marathon this weekend. PRONK qualified for Boston with a time of 3:04 and BINGER qualified as best ex-step cousin ever with a time of 4:38. It was totally worth the video.
BOB LEIN and KEVIN “Sprout” STEIGERWALD are running the Philadelphia Marathon November 22. This date marks the day BOB shows his running dominance over his son, BRYAN.
DAN PELNER signed up for Ironman Lake Placid next July.
JOHN AMATO, D.R. AMATO, and SPROUT signed up for the Columbus Half-Marathon on August 16th.
If there is anything we missed, please let us know. This is exciting.
Race Report: Vineman Half-Ironman
Vineman Ironman 70.3 – July 19th
Dan Pelner
Been about a month since the last race so I figured it was about time for another one. I’d be racing solo this time so don’t have any pictures. Got up to Santa Rosa a day early to check out the course and check in. Seemed like a pretty flat course which would be a nice change of pace. On the
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way back to
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my hotel from the expo a car exploded on the freeway, so rather then sit in traffic I pulled off at the nearest exit. As luck would have it there was a movie theater there, and I went and saw the best movie ever while the traffic cleared. Pretty sure if you swap that tiger for a cougar “The Hangover” describes most of our trips to Vegas. After the movie I met up with some folks from LA Tri Club for dinner.
Normally my age group is the first or second wave of the race, but for this race they randomly draw age groups out of a hat to determine the order of the waves. So my wave wasn’t until 7:30, which meant I could sleep a little later. Expect to see more races with this kind of system in the future. The swim was in a river, but there was almost no current, and the water temp was just cool enough to allow wetsuits. It was also pretty shallow, I even saw some people up and running at some points.
The bike course was a rolling ride through wine country with some great scenery. I thought I saw an Emu farm at one point on the course, what the hell do you do with an Emu farm? I was able to stay in my aero bars for most of the ride and felt pretty strong throughout. About 7 miles into the ride I came to a fallen tree in the road. Later I found out that the tree came down in the middle of the race injuring three riders (http://www.pressdemocrat.com/article/20090719/ARTICLES/907199983 ). Freak accident. The only big hill on the course came at mile 45, it was a pretty long one but not as steep as the hill on the Wildflower course. Luckily it didn’t get too hot until the end of the bike.
All I remember about the run was that it was hot and hilly. There also may or may not have been some local selling goats along the course. I really just wanted water though. As I came into the finish chute they were blasting “I’m On a Boat” on the speakers…awesome. Ended up finishing in 5:14, my fastest half-iron yet! Great race,
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definitely planning on doing this one again in the future. 
Turbo Pronking Miles with Binger von Bingerstein
Ex Step Cousin Binger von Bingerstein
When we race we pronk, and when we pronk we race. Regardless, we pronk and race for Pants Off Racing. This video emulates our class and sophistication as well as our dedication to the hamster wheel! Bring it on San Fran Thon, you have nothing on Von Binger and Pronk Bird. TWEET TWEET
53 Days Until Sept. 13
Yeahya! 53 days!
Almost time to see who will make it through the full Ironman. Good friend T Pot was not in attendance during this last press conference, he was prolly running a race somewhere on the east.
anyway, more updates to follow, hope all is training well and we’ll see you for our Kick Off event Oct 25 in LA (Westwood/Brentwood area). Pants Party to follow! Check out the Hirshberg Foundation Pancraetic Cancer Race (LA Cancer Challenge) on the Google. Mr Smeagol will even be in attendance! Yeahya
Week of Pronk-ing!
Pronk came to town this week to finally get serious ab
out training for this ironman we have in 2 months. I think it finally hit us that it is relatively soon. It was a good week of training, a lot different when you actually have someone next to you trying to do the same thing as you are.
Weigh In: 159
S – Run 8 (55:45), Ride 102 (4:38)
- The week started with an Amato family wedding in Chicago, always an interesting time when so many Amatos are in the same place. It was a lot of fun driving everyone around all weekend. On our way home, we stopped in ND for a nice trail run at St. Mary’s and a heavy lunch at CJ’s with Prof. Drevs. Once, we got to amish country Rohn and Kat dropped Pronk and I off so we could ride the rest of the way home. It ended up being 102 miles with plenty of wind in our favor.
M – Swim 3200m (1:15), Ride 22 (1:08), Run 7 (52:44), gym x 12, PU75, 960
- It was fun waking up at 4:20 in the morning time for our first swim of the week. Swimming in the dark is always my favorite. We pounded coffees the rest of the day, and then the rest of the week for that matter.
T – Ride 27 (1:33), Ride 24 (1:20), LSD ~ 13.5 (1:50), gym x 15, PU75, 960
- Pronk got to join Rohn and I on our weekly Long, Slow Distance run of the week at Oak Openings. Each week we run 10 more minutes and are up to 1:50 this week.
W – Swim 3200m (1:15), Speedwork: 6 Yasso 800s (2:52) – 4.75 miles (39:09), gym x 6, PU75, 960
- We tried out our first Yasso 800s workout today. Not fun at all, but I could definitely feel the effects of this track workout. Bart Yasso’s theory of this workout is to run 10 x 800 with a 400 jog between and average your 800′s time to simulate your marathon time.
TR – [Run 60 (~8), Ride 4:00 (81), Run 30 (~4)], 640
- Today was probably the most grueling workout i have ever done in my life. Thanks to Brandon del Campo, we tried one of his brick workouts he sent our way. We managed to finished it, and actually felt great on the last 30 minutes of the run. The bike was extremely long but it worked out great since Robbie joined us and we have a good line going the entire time.
F – Swim 3200m (1:15), Ride 16 (54:03)
- We couldn’t really get ourselves to do a whole lot today, especially after 3 days of early morning swim workouts followed by breakfast dates each day. I did test out Pronk’s new bike today, and its completely unfair. It is so light and quick that I finally realized why I was staring at Pronk’s ass all week while we were riding.
S – Run 18 (2:37)
- Pronk and I drove north to Ann Arbor for the day and ended up at Sterling Lake State Park. We didn’t really have anything specific planned until we arrived and they had a great 18 miles trail. Instead of riding today, we opted to run the trail instead. It was perfect though, a lot like oak openings with a lot more hills. Probably the breast part of the week was the 3 times I turned to look at Pat and he was doing ninja rolls in the dirt from tripping all over the place.
Summary: 25:42
Swim: 6 miles; 3:45
Bike: 272 miles; 13:30
Run: 63.25 (8:25)
Gym: x 33, PU225, 3520
POR Team Kick-Off Party
Location: Wokcano, Santa Monica
To celebrate the start of a new race website and kick off a crazy week of application blitzes Team POR hit the bar this Sunday. To celebrate such an encouraging number of applications and fresh ideas coming in, POR took the party to the deck of Wokcano.
The Lakers had barely won and the bar just flipped on its side. Team POR turned into Team SOR (shirts off racing) when Bone Saw hit the dance floor and channeled his inner Rock God. Wokcano was happy to have all of us and said the season ending party should also be there. So you are all invited next time, bring an extra shirt and your sun glasses.
The Cougar Graph
Attention Team Members: Please note the following graph that one POR team member found while driving a Kia. We will not comment on the fact that he was driving a kia.
Race Report: Splash and Dash
Splash and Dash – Location: Huntington Beach
Race report called for sting rays. Wadley really wanted to pee on someone, so he was looking for them before the race. The race was free since Wadley’s breast friend was a lifeguard for it. Thank God Matt came up too to support and take lots of ribs of us in our 6K race. Without him we wouldn’t have these ribs to share with you.
Wadley killed the course and took 4th. I made sure I took my time to enjoy the scene, and I only swim when a race comes around. Practicing is over rated. Prolly why I haven‘t felt comfortable in my wetsuit yet.
Anyway, great day for a race, but the distance was a little short, waking up at 6am was awfully fun though. On to the next weekend/race.
Team Bio: Michael Phelps
This month’s honorary team member is Michael Phelps. Its hard to deny such a great mustache. It should be team-mandated, but I guess we can just wait until December to make that mandatory. Happy Training, Michael.
Race Report: T-Pot Half-Ironman Somewhere
Yo,
I’m not sure if I can post directly on the website so I’ll just send this to you two clowns to put up.
This was probably the most organized race I have done. Everything was easy from checking in to parking, etc. They had a lot of prize money, so a lot of pros showed up including Happy Days own Richie Cunningham.
PRERACE:
Port-A-Potty – great.
Blew a tube 20 mins before the race filling my tires with air because I need to have some kind of panic prior to the race.
SWIM:
The swim was great. This was my first race using a full body (including arms) wetsuit and I definitely felt the difference. I felt light and smooth. As usual, it took me a minute catch my breath and get into a smooth rhythm, but after that I felt great the whole swim. It was a similar course shape to Austin (a triangle). I stayed to the outside most of the time and managed to only kicked once and punched once which is a record low. All in all uneventful and I’ll take that every time on my swim. 31 minutes out of the water and back into Quassy Amusement Park.
T1:
Did not wear my race shirt under the wetsuit which is a mistake I won’t make again. This was by far the worst part of my race. I angrily shouted at my only fan to go away as I panicked trying to put that stupid shirt on.
BIKE:
As advertised, the bike was the toughest part of the course. To make it worse on those long climbs I had a squeak in my bike for some of the long climbs. And there were a lot of long descents which were fun too. Miles 24-31 was torture, but I was able to hold on my own and happy to report that there were no disasters. I still can’t change a flat so I just pray that I won’t be left on the side of the road somewhere crying. This is where I was expecting to drop time from Austin and although I wasn’t flying I did a 250 which I was fine with.
And everyone favorite part , eating. I had a mini Clif Bar, my favorite GEL (Espresso), some jelly beans and a new bottle of water at each station (about every 10 miles). This will play a factor in the next part.
T2:
Much easier transition. However, there were no port a potty’s in the transition area and I didn’t want to wait for one along the course so I ran to the amusement park bathroom much to the amusement of all the surrounding bystanders. It was a little surreal and I think I frightened a couple people in the bathroom. All and all, no big deal and I was now ready for a comfortable run.
RUN:
My legs felt great from the start and after the first couple of miles I knew I had a good run in me. I was reeling people in and feeling good. The run is the reason I even do these triathlons. There was no quadzilla here, but Mile 3-4 was the ‘K-Swiss mile’ which may not sound intimidating but was a pretty good hill in its own right. I was happiest to pass a couple pro females. Anyway, the whole way I was thinking I must be ready for Wisconsin because I could probably bang out a full marathon if need be. But there was another huge hill at 12 and someone not to far in front of me got hit by a car, so I was happy to finish at mile 13. Ran just over 90 minutes (including the t2 bathroom spot I beleive) which is what I was shooting for. Just over 5 hours over the race, so if I could put a shirt on I would have broken 5 is the way i think about it.
Anyway, great race and I just read that they will be having their first full in 2010 almost a year to the date of Ironman Wisconsin. And its in your home country, OHIOOOOOOOO.
http://www.rev3tri.com/!/blog/2009-06-12-cedarPoint.html
I bet Geege would even do it Because its at Cedar Point.
The following link has some photos. Zoe has some more that I’ll send over.
http://www.backprint.com/view_user_event.asp?PID=bp%1EyFu&EVENTID=53236&PWD=&BIB=580
My team (Runner’s Edge) won the team competition which was cool.
After the 2 hour ride home it was time for 4 softball games with the Angry Beavers and a 5 mile race the next night.
As opposed to Austin where I was out of commission for a week, my legs felt great and I was able to get right back into training.
I still owe you an application and $1 but I think it’s about time you put me on the website.
Peace Brothers.
Columnist Jackie Wanger Book Reporting on Pancreatic Cancer
“The Panc Gospel According to Wanger Ranger!” – By Jackie Wanger Ranger; POR Columnist
Randy Pausch was a professor, father, husband, and warrior for pancreatic cancer. He inspired millions of people with his story, and helped raise awareness for pancreatic cancer research. In his book, The Last Lecture, Pausch tells the story of his life, how he truly lived every one of his childhood dreams, something he feels everyone can and should do. The book is an extension of a lecture he gave, his final lecture at Carnegie Mellon University. He talks about how blessed his life is, even while dealing with a terminal diagnosis. However, it is the very fact that his cancer was terminal that pushed him to fight for further pancreatic cancer research. Although he knew there may not be a cure in his lifetime, he knew that it is possible someday, with enough time, funding, and research. His desperate hope was that his children would never have to suffer a diagnosis of cancer, but if they did, there would be a cure. His book is inspirational and entertaining, and is well worth the read.
For more information, go to www.thelastlecture.com
Also check out this video of Dr. Pausch speaking to the Labor, Health, and Human Services subcommittee, advocating for pancreatic cancer research: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BaD1TsjGR0w
Race Report: Mooseman Triathlon
Mooseman Race Report, Olympic Distance – Bristol, NH
From the mouth of team member: Gerhard
Travel to the Race:
The 5 hour drive from New York is not for the faint of heart or bladder. This is like driving to Vegas on Friday and back on Saturday, except 
that you’re not gambling or meeting cougars like Pat. Rather you’re driving to Vegas to subject your body to unknown dimensions of pain. On a positive note, the New Hampshire towns and forests are beautiful, and quintessentially New England. If I was driving with my girlfriend it could even be romantic. However, I was driving with Brenden, who decided to pass another car by crossing a double yellow at 90mph in a 50mph zone, while a cop from the Henniken county PD was driving towards us in the other lane. By 1:30am, we managed to get Brenden bailed out and crawled into bed around 2am, allowing us to wake refreshed at 5:30am for the race at 7:00am.
Swim:
The swim is in the pristine waters of Newfound Lake. The temperature was approximately 60 degs on race day. The water was glassy and very swimmable. It tasted good. Even with a kick to the goggles I could still see some fish at the bottom. A single simple triangular loop. The in-water start was about 500 yards down the beach from the exit. Buoys to your left all the way round.
T1:
Exit the lake into T1 across a few steps of beach. Be sure to have a towel to clean off your feet. I had more problems with dirt on this race than any other, for some reason. I was covered with twigs, leaves and random dirt. Oh, and they have wet suit peelers but I couldn’t locate an incredible good-looking girl to strip me down, so I avoided the male trolls and took off my own suit. Fast transition area, although I didn’t make the best use of it (being my first race of the season I fumbled a little). Bike racks are numbered with enough space for everybody’s bikes (for a change!)
Bike:
The bike course can best be described as ‘rolling’. It is a single loop around Newfound Lake (yup, the same one you swim in) and there is a steep pitch at about 6 miles in but aside from that this course can be attacked. Smart and frequent gear selection is crucial and will allow you to maintain speed through many of the rolling sections. The final 6 miles of the loop are fast and technical. My personal takeaway – need more bike training before the next race. The road surfaces are pretty good for the most part with some bumpy section. Almost no traffic and very scenic, especially when you have clear views of the lake or when driven past some of that New England scenery. Gatorade and water provided.
T2:
Again, fast transition. Did a little better than T1. However, my bike shoes were hard packed with mud when I got home. I had to dive in there with a bucket of water, a tootbrush and one of my girlfriend’s bobby pins to clean the muck out of my speedplay cleats. Can’t do much about it though.
Run:
The run is 6 miles out and back along the lake road. There is a pretty decent climb on the way out but the run was easy and fast. Can
definitely be dominated if you go into this race well trained. Problem is that it’s early in the season, but you can really open the throttle on this biatch. Had some twitches in my calves so I lost a little time around mile 4. As a reward for finishing the race, the final 100 yards is pure sand along the beach of the lake, before you head in towards about 50 yards of home stretch and the finish line.
Overall:
Swim 30:15, Bike 1:27:00, Run 44:44, Total 2:46:34. The race is really very well managed by the same people that do Timberman. The whole moose festival is excellent, the course is nice and the lake has the cleanest water I’ve even swum in (in America). Volunteers are great, all aid stations are well manned and stocked with the usual provisions. There’s tent camping at Camp Wicosuta, or plenty of
accommodation in the surrounding areas. My driving buddy up there will have his day in court in August. New Hampshire…Live Free or Die.
First Post Ever!
TEAM POR, let’s get long winded
Synopsis –
- Start sending in stuff for us to post, workouts, ribs, bios, random crap that makes this fun for all
- Bio’s will be posted on the team page, check them out, they are sweet
- D.R. Amato is a bored clown, he needs you to keep him busy this year
- Sponsorships are on their way
And the long version:
POR is off to a quick start. Bio’s and dollar bills are flying in at a good pace. El president, DR, is super bored this summer, so it is our job to keep him occupied while he lives under the iron curtain of his parent’s house (as apparently many of our members still do!! Ha)! Between his text messaging and run/bike/swim schedule, he has found plenty of time to upload ur sweet as “ribs” (pics to the lay person, text messaging scrambles this word).
We need more updates from all of you, so send some updates to us and we can post them and some ribs of what you are doing. Keep them as short or long as you want. The mission of this group is to have fun and keep people motivated in the process. We can only be as strong as the team, so hearing about ur conquests and struggles will be helpful for everyone. Plus it is always fun to hear from someone other than DR, or the Treasurer.
So far we have had a lot of great stuff come in. Pleasant surprises, like Ex Step Cousin Binger’s headshot (he’s a model, idiot) keep this whole thing interesting. Apparently girls can be left handed too, according to a bio by some chick nicknamed Taylor (she’s 5’8” in stilettos). Mike Big Daddy Bulfin also claims to be 5’8” but he must have been drinking too much wild turkey, because even soaking wet and in a speedo he is about 5’3”! Jams Wilson, you love babes. Awesomely said, we need more abbes on the team, and POR is all about babes. I think that ranks right up there with Wild Turkey.
So your job right now is to keep checking on the website, pick a workout plan and stick to it enough that you will feel the best you have since college, even if that was a couple weeks ago. One of the added benefits of this is that you can join Rohn Amato at the summer’s tour de county fairs, and eat whatever you want without even gaining so much as a love handle. This is your quick fix to the munchies.
We are excited to say that our intended sponsor letters to Wild Turkey, Splish, Zoot Sports, Istria Café, Jupiter Pro Lawn Care, Powerbar, Sports Beans, and Team Helium are on their way. As sponsors for POR, they should help us to make things on the site better and keep you clothed (barely) for the seasons to come. Uniforms are still being addressed, we will have some race ones and some shirts that will be done soon. We have a few preliminary and primitive designs, so please let the ideas and creativity flow and submit designs if your brain is at all creative.
As for the team, we have currently found a home in nearly every major city in the country, and some even abroad. We are still looking for someone in Luxembourg, but I am sure that will come soon! Our current headquarters are now in Holland Ohio with major hubs in LA, Boston, Austin, Solana Beach (CA), NYC, Chicago, London, Cleveland, South bend, Fort Lauderdale, New Orleans, Columbus, ‘Nati, Kalamazoo, Memphis, Scottsdale, Portland, Orlando, the country of South Africa, Baltimore, DC, and even Pascagoula Mississippi!!
Anyway, keep the spirit up. Those with addictions to Wild Turkey, exercise, and helping fight this pancreatic bug are all counting on you. We will soon have more people than we can keep track of, unless you have more time than our current president. Travel and race plans for the next season (2010) will be sent out in the coming months, and we will make sure we have a board vote. So someone with the ability will have to set up a conference call is needed, and we can all call in and have our board meeting. It will be in the form of a baseball fantasy league draft so make sure you have your picks in a list, and a case of high life or natty ice handy next to your buffalo wings and sports gu’s.
Enjoy your week, and keep getting your friends signed up.
Sy
3.
Race Report: World’s Toughest Tri
Team Members: Pat Amato, Dan Pelner
Location: Auburn, CA
Event: World’s Toughest Trithlon, Half-Ironman
Date: May 31, 2009
Worlds Toughest Half 5/31/09 – Dan Pelner & Pat Amato
Trip There:
The trip started out as most of them do, with us packing up Pat’s car on a Friday afternoon at least an hour later then planned. Lucky for us the race wasn’t until Sunday so we weren’t in too much of a rush. We headed up for Northern Cali in time to beat most of the traffic and even stop at some legendary road side stands. We’ve seen the sign for the “Fudge & Pies” stand many times over the past few years but never stopped. This trip we could resist no longer and decided to check it out. Sadly they had no pies, not to fear as we bought plenty of fudge instead! After our detour we headed back on the road and into what felt like the surface of the sun. Since Pat refuses to drive with the windows up, Dan’s hair almost caught on fire and the fudge may or may not have turned into syrup. Had to be the hottest place ever, at least it was getting later and it cooled off after not too long.
Our stop for the night would be Aunt Celeste’s, in Davis about an hour away from the race site. When we arrived the whole family was there to greet us and a little surprised that D.R. wasn’t with us. When Pat told them Dan was coming they were expecting Dan Amato! Thankfully they didn’t make Pelner leave, but instead began serving us tons of food. Pat spent the night doing laundry and asking cousin Bob about his old friend Norman, who it turned out was actually named Melvin. The next morning more food appeared including some delicious smoothies laced with steroids.
Unfortunately, after eating, we had to head off for Auburn (California not the school) to check into the race and our hotel for the night. On our way to Auburn we were beginning to think that “John Denver was full of crap, man”. But as we got closer we found out he was right after all and there was plenty of rocky mountains for the race.
When we got there we checked into the hotel and went off in search of the lake to go for a swim. Naturally we got lost a few times trying to find the lake, GPS is for chicks…good thing we checked it out Saturday and didn’t wait to get lost the day of the race. When we finally reached the lake, there were a lot of boats in the water and we decided it was probably a bad idea to go for a swim. So we went to pick up our race packets at the expo instead.
Around this time we started to realize that this race wasn’t going to be like most races. It’s not organized by a big event company like most races and instead has a more laid back feel. This actually adds some interesting dimensions to the race and it is still pretty well organized. Despite being a USAT sanctioned race wearing your bib/race number was optional…this probably made it a little hard for them to enforce penalties!
Side note: Most of the girls there looked like they were carved out of granite, yet oddly had the same length hair as Pelner or Pat. So for awhile we thought we were at a lesbian tri, which worried us, since we usually judge success by how many chicks we beat in the race. However, guess there were just a lot of ridiculously strong looking chicks at this race over the age of 35. Some of those same chicks filled out their sleeveless tri tops a little better than us too.
After getting our packets and attending the pre-race briefing we went and found some food and Pat picked up some sweet Women’s shades at the supermarket. Then for the first time ever we made it back to the hotel with plenty of time to get our gear ready for the race in the morning, relax, put our feet up, and get to bed at a reasonable time.
This was fortunate since we had to get up at 4:30AM for the race. We groggily ate some food in the morning, packed up, and headed for the race. To get to the race we had to bike a good 6 miles once we parked. This was fun, since we hadn’t been up for an hour yet. It was already somewhat warm so we were getting ready for the worst, and prepared for the heat. As we slap chopped some sunscreen on each other and told each other how awesome we looked in our wetsuits, we were told there would be a “mandatory” 10 minute swim warm up. Apparently some research has shown that the sudden shock of cold water has led to some heart attacks or something so they made everyone get in and warm up. It didn’t really matter at this race since the water temperature was perfect.
Dan’s Race:
True to the laid back nature of the race it started a few minutes late. Other then the usual getting punched and kicked at the start, the swim was pretty uneventful. I settled into a decent pace (for me) and was actually with a pack of swimmers for the whole race…this rarely happens unless it’s a pack from the wave after me. Though as I got out of the water and looked at the clock, I noticed that I logged my slowest swim time yet…maybe those were swimmers from the next wave after all! Either way the swim course felt a little long, later at the finish I heard a lot of other people saying this as well, so I’m sticking with that excuse.
After tearing off my wet suit I hopped on the bike. The hills started right away and I couldn’t catch my breath for like the first 10 miles…guess I need to do some more swim/bike bricks. The bike course was a pretty strange one as at one point it seemed like we were riding through someone’s backyard. Later I saw some old dude walking down the road carrying a harpoon…either that or the heat was getting to me. With over 6000 ft of total elevation gain it was a tough
bike…I’m a decent climber so I was able to pass a bunch of people on the hills and make up for my poor swim. Just as things were looking good, I heard the sound of the gates closing at a train crossing…crap. I had to sit there for what felt like an eternity (after the race I would find out that it was actually 9 minutes) as what seemed like the worlds longest freight train crossed the road, giving all those people I had passed earlier the chance to catch back up to me. After the train finally passed I continued on the bike (a little demoralized) and set about making up for lost time. I definitely spent more energy then I should have in the last quarter of the bike trying to make up for that train. But my final time on the bike was decent given the challenges. After the race Brad, the race director, said he would subtract the time for the train…but doesn’t look like that’s happened yet.
The run course was also pretty tough with a bunch of nasty hills. There was a lot of good scenery though to keep my mind off the pain. Most of it was on trails…I think…which made it less painful. By this point in the race its hard to remember too many details. My run was pretty strong and in the end I was glad for it to be over, as I crossed the finish line Pat was already there getting some good pictures of me finishing.
Pat’s Race:
All I remember is waking up really early then finishing 6 hours later with some chap that called himself Booth. Whether he was made up or not is unknown, I think my uncle Kelly use to have imaginary friends. I have some claw marks on my face, and I know that no cougars got to me this weekend, since I was holed up in the sticks with a small dog named Pelner.
The marks actually came from a wayward swimmer. I think he actually swam the course backwards, which is weird since no one else does that. But this guy hit me pretty solid, as u can see above my eye as I type.
The bike dominated me. It was my strong point and I think it went well. I didn’t get any flats and I rode past some hot old ladies in the race. Pretty noteworthy I know, but really the bike was just pure pain throughout. No let up on it, much tougher than the 3 century rides I have done this spring, even though it was 44 miles shorter.
Running, man, I think they should cut that part out of it. My favorite part almost ruined me. After the bike I felt pretty top notch. But honestly I think my head game is weak and I need to do some more racing and training in order to be ready for another hard race like this. Feeling sorry for yourself or worrying about how much longer the race is will not help when you have a half marathon or even a full marathon left after the seat of ur spandex jumps off the bike.
Today I am sore. Totally worth it. Looking forward to another challenge and preparing for it a little more. Going to Austin TX the week before and not training doesn’t constitute a taper week.
Trip Home:
After the race we both agreed that it definitely lived up to its name of the “Worlds Toughest Half.” With 70.3 miles down, 400 miles to get back home, and not a
shower in site we pulled a little surfer change in the parking lot. Dressed in boardshorts we hit up some sandwiches at “Mr. Pickle’s”…the favored sandwich shop of Graham and Faye. The staff there was pretty cool, or high, and let Pelner play with the etch-a-sketch, sadly they no longer sell jars of pickles so we couldn’t bring any home for Uncle Kelly.
The ride home was pretty uneventful other than some power napping by Pronk, and remembering that we had over 12 bottles of water for the day apiece, and neither of us had to drain the lizard yet and it had been 10.5 hours since we had started the race and last done that. Oh well, sleep, eat, and apparently pee when ur dead.
If this isn’t motivational you should definitely try your own and see how much you want to saw your legs off come 30 miles into “LeMond Hill”, or when the second loop of the half ironman course comes and you wish you could just hide in the grass and pretend you already ran it. The course humbles you and your mind plays tricks on you, but you know that the only way you will be satisfied is if you finish and stay mentally strong. Good luck, the payoff is totally worth
The Perfect 10 Marathon For Seasoned Runners
Day Cycle 1:
- Tempo Run: 15 minute warmup, 40 minute marathon pace, 15 minute cooldown
- Rest or cross-train
- 6 mile easy
- Speedwork: 6 Yasso 800s
- Cross-train
- 5 mile easy
- 8 mile easy
- LSD: 12-15 miles
- Rest
- 6 mile easy
Day Cycle 2:
- Tempo Run: 15 minute warmup, 50 minute marathon pace, 15 minute cooldown
- Rest of cross-train
- 6 mile easy
- Speedwork: 12 x 400
- Cross-train
- 6 mile easy
- 8 mile easy
- LSD: 15-18 miles
- Rest
- 8 mile easy
Day Cycle 3:
- Tempo Run: 15 minute warmup, 30 minute marathon pace, 15 minute cooldown
- Rest or cross-train
- 6 mile easy
- Speedwork: 4 x 1 mile
- Cross-train
- 8 mile easy
- 6 mile easy
- LSD: 18-20 miles
- Rest
- 8 mile easy
Day Taper:
- Tempo: 15 minute warmup, 30 minute marathon pace, 15 minute cooldown
- Rest
- 4 mile easy
- Track: 4 Yasso 800s
- Rest
- 4 mile easy
- Rest
- 5 mile easy
- Rest
- 4 mile easy
Day Taper:
- Tempo: 15 minute warmup, 25 minute marathon pace, 15 minute cooldown
- Rest
- 4 mile easy
- Track: 3 Yasso 800s
- Rest
- 4 mile easy
- Rest
- 3 mile easy
- Rest
- Race Day!
Follow cycles 1, 2, and 3 four times, then follow the 20-day taper.
You must start the program 140 days prior to the race date.
The Perfect 10 Half-Marathon For Seasoned Runners
Day Cycle 1:
- Tempo Run: 15 minute warmup, 20 minute half marathon pace, 15 minute cooldown
- Rest or cross-train
- 5 mile easy
- Speedwork: 3 Yasso 800s
- Cross-train
- 5 miles easy
- 5 miles easy
- LSD: 6-8 miles
- Rest
- 5 miles easy
Day Cycle 2:
- Tempo Run: 15 minute warmup, 25 minute half-marathon pace, 15 minute cooldown
- Rest of Cross-train
- 5 mile easy
- Speedwork: 12 x 400
- Cross-train
- 5 mile easy
- 5 mile easy
- LSD: 10-12 miles
- Rest
- 5 mile easy
Day Cycle 3:
- Tempo Run: 15 minute warmup, 35 minute half-marathon pace, 15 minute cooldown
- Cross-train
- 5 mile easy
- Speedwork: 3 1-mile repeats
- Cross-train
- 5 mile easy
- 5 mile easy
- LSD: 12-15 miles
- Rest
- 5 mile easy
Day Half-Marathon Taper:
- Tempo Run: 12-minute warmup, 20 minute half-marathon pace, 12-minute cooldown
- Cross-train
- 5 mile easy
- Track: 3 Yasso 800s
- Cross-train
- 4 mile easy
- Rest
- 3 mile easy
- Rest
- Race Day!
Follow cycles 1, 2, and 3 three time, then follow the taper.
You must start the program 100 days prior to the race date.
The Perfect 10 Marathon For Newbies
Day Cycle 1:
- Tempo Run: 15 minute warmup, 30 minute marathon pace, 15 minute cooldown
- Rest or cross-train
- 4 mile easy
- Speedwork: 4 Yasso 800s
- Cross-train
- 3 mile easy
- 5 mile easy
- LSD: 8-10 miles
- Rest
- 4 mile easy
Day Cycle 2:
- Tempo Run: 15 minute warmup, 35 minute marathon pace, 15 minute cooldown
- Rest day or cross-train
- 4 mile easy
- Speedwork: 6 Yasso 800s
- Cross-train
- 3 mile easy
- 5 mile easy
- LSD: 13-15 miles
- Rest
- 4 mile easy
Day Cycle 3:
- Tempo Run: 15 minute warmup, 40 minute marathon pace, 15 minute cooldown
- Rest or cross-train
- 4 mile easy
- Speedwork: 6 Yasso 800s
- Cross-train
- 3 mile easy
- 5 mile easy
- LSD: 16-18 miles
- Rest
- 4 mile easy
Day Taper Cycle 1:
- Tempo Run: 12 minute warmup, 25 minute marathon pace, 12 minute cooldown
- Rest
- 4 mile easy
- Track: 3 Yasso 800s
- Rest
- 4 mile easy
- Rest
- 4 mile easy
- Rest
- 4 mile easy
Day Taper Cycle 2:
- Tempo Run: 12 minute warmup, 20 minute marathon pace, 12 minute cooldown
- Rest
- 4 mile easy
- Track: 2 Yasso 800s
- Rest
- 3 miles easy
- Rest
- 3 miles easy
- Rest
- Race Day!
Follow cycles 1, 2, and 3 four times, then follow the 20-day taper.
You must start the program 140 days prior to the race date.
The Perfect 10 Half-Marathon For Newbies
Day Cycle 1:
- Tempo Run – 15 minute warmup, 20 minute half-marathon pace, 15 minute cooldown
- Rest of cross-train
- 3 mile easy
- Speedwork: 3 Yasso 800s
- Cross-train
- 3 mile easy
- 4 mile easy
- LSD: 4-5 miles
- Rest
- 3 mile easy
Day Cycle 2:
- Tempo Run: 15 minute warmup, 25 minute half-marathon pace, 15 minute cooldown
- Rest or cross-train
- 4 mile easy
- Speedwork: 4 Yasso 800s
- Cross-train
- 3 mile easy
- 4 mile easy
- LSD: 5-7 miles
- Rest
- 3 mile easy
Day Cycle 3:
- Tempo Run: 15 minute warmup, 30 minute half-marathon pace, 15 minute cooldown
- Rest or cross-train
- 4 mile easy
- Speedwork: 4 Yasso 800s
- Cross-train
- 4 mile easy
- 4 mile easy
- LSD: 8-10 miles
- Rest
- 3 mile easy
Day Half-Marathon Taper:
- Tempo: 10 minute warmup, 15 minute half-marathon pace, 15 minute cooldown
- Cross-train
- 4 mile easy
- Track: 2 Yasso 800s
- Cross-train
- 3 mile easy
- Rest
- 3 mile easy
- Rest
- Race Day!
Follow cycles 1 ,2, and 3 three times, then follow the taper.
You must start the program 100 days prior to the race date.
The Perfect 10 (5-k and 10-k) For Hard-Core Runners
Day Cycle 1:
1 – Tempo Run: 15 minute warmup, 30 minute faster pace, 15 minute cooldown
2 – Rest or Cross-train
3 – 5 mile easy
4 – Speedwork: 5 Yasso 800s
5 – Cross-train
6 – 6 mile easy
7 – 5 mile easy
8 – LSD: 6-8 miles
9 – Rest
10 – 5 mile easy
Day Cycle 2:
1 – Tempo Run: 15 minute warmup, 35 minute faster pace, 15 minute cooldown
2 – Rest or Cross-train
3 – 5 mile easy
4 – Speedwork: 6 Yasso 800s
5 – Cross-train
6 – 5 mile easy
7 – 6 mile easy
8 – LSD: 7-9 miles
9 – Rest
10 – 5 mile easy
Day Cycle 3:
1 – Tempo Run: 15 minute warmup, 40 minute faster pace, 15 minute cooldown
2 – Rest or cross-train
3 – 6 mile easy
4 – Speedwork: 6 Yasso 800s
5 – Cross-train
6 – 6 mile easy
7 – 6 mile easy
8 – LSD: 8-10 miles
9 – Rest
10 – 5 mile easr
Day Taper 5-k and 10-k:
1 – 5 mile easy
2 – Cross-train
3 – 3 mile easy
4 – Track: 4 Yasso 800s
5 – Cross-train
6 – 5 mile easy
7 – Rest
8 – 3 mile easy
9 – Rest
10 – Race Day!
Follow cycles 1, 2, and 3 twice, then follow the taper.
You must start the program 70 days prior to the race date.
The Perfect 10 (5-k and 10-k) For Seasoned Runners
Day: Cycle 1
1 – Tempo Run: 15 min warmup, 20 minute half-marathon pace, 15 min cooldown
2 – Rest of cross-train
3 – 4 mile easy
4 – Speedwork: 6 Yasso 800s
5 – Cross-train
6 – 3 mile easy
7 – 5 mile easy
8 – LSD: 5-7 miles
9 – Rest
10 – 5 mile easy
Day Cycle 2:
1 – Tempo Run: 15 minute warmup, 15 minute half-marathon pace, 15 minute cooldown
2 – Rest of cross-train
3 – 3 mile easy
4 – Speedwork: 12 x 400
5 – Cross-train
6 – 4 mile easy
7 – 5 mile easy
8 – LSD: 6-8 miles
9 – Rest
10 – 4 mile easy
Day Cycle 3:
1 – Tempo Run: 15 minute warmup, 30 minute half-marathon pace, 15 minute cooldown
2 – Cross-train
3 – 5 miles easy
4 – Speedwork: 3 – 1 mile repeats
5 – Cross-train
6 – 5 mile easy
7 – 3 mile easy
8 – LSD: 8-10 miles
9 – Rest
10 – 4 mile easy
Day Taper 5 -k and 10 – k:
1 – 4 mile easy
2 – Cross-train
3 – Rest
4 – Track: 3 Yasso 800s
5 – Cross-train
6 – 4 mile easy
7 – Rest
8 – 3 mile easy
9 – Rest
10 – Race Day!
Follow cycles 1, 2, and 3 twice, then follow the taper.
You must start the program 70 days prior to the race date.
The Perfect 10 Marathon For Hard-Core Runners
Day Cycle 1:
- Tempo Run: 15 minute warmup, 50 minute marathon pace, 15 minute warmup
- Rest day or cross-train
- 8 mile easy
- Speedwork: 8 Yasso 800s
- Cross-train
- 7 mile easy
- 8 mile easy
- LSD: 16-18 miles
- Rest
- 8 mile easy
Day Cycle 2:
- Tempo Run: 15 minute warmup, 60 minute marathon pace, 15 minute cooldown
- Rest or cross-train
- 8 mile easy
- Speedwork: 8 Yasso 800s
- Cross-train
- 7 mile easy
- 8 mile easy
- LSD: 18-20 miles
- Rest
- 8 mile easy
Day Cycle 3:
- Tempo Run: 15 minute warmup, 60 minute marathon pace, 15 minute cooldown
- Rest of cross-train
- 8 mile easy
- Speedwork: 10 Yasso 800s
- Cross-train
- 7 mile easy
- 8 mile easy
- LSD: 20-22 miles
- Rest
- 8 mile easy
Day Taper:
- Tempo Run: 15 minute warmup, 35 minute marathon pace, 15 minute cooldown
- Rest
- 5 mile easy
- Track: 5 Yasso 800s
- Rest
- 5 mile easy
- Rest
- 5 mile easy
- Rest
- 6 mile easy
Day Taper:
- Tempo: 15 minute warmup, 35 minute marathon pace, 15 minute cooldown
- Rest
- 5 mile easy
- Track: 4 Yasso 800s
- Rest
- 5 mile easy
- Rest
- 3 mile easy
- Rest
- Race Day!
Follow cycles 1, 2, and 3 four times, then follow the 20-day taper.
You must start the program 140 days prior to the race date.
The Perfect 10 (5-k and 10-k) For Newbies
Day Cycle 1:
1 – Tempo Run: 15 minute warm-up, 20 minute faster pace, 15 minute cooldown
2 – Rest of cross-train
3 – 3 mile easy
4 – Speedwork: 3 Yasso 800s
5 – Cross-train
6 – 4 mile easy
7 – 5 mile easy
8 – LSD: 5-6 miles
9 – Rest Day
10 -4 miles easy
Day Cycle 2:
1 – Tempo run: 15 minute warm-up, 20 minute faster pace, 15 minute cooldown
2 – Rest of cross-train
3 – 3 mile easy
4 – Speedwork: 3 Yasso 800s
5 – Cross-train
6 – 4 mile easy
7 – 5 mile easy
8 – LSD: 5-6 miles
9 – Rest
10 – 4 mile easy
Day Cycle 3:
1 – Tempo Run: 15 min warmup, 25 min faster pace, 15 min cooldown
2 – Rest of cross-train
3 – 3 mile easy
4 – Speedwork: 4 Yasso 800s
5 – Cross-train
6 – 4 mile easy
7 – 5 mile easy
8 – LSD: 6-7 miles
9 – Rest
10 – 4 mile easy
Day Taper 5-k and 10-k:
1 – 2 mile easy
2- Cross-train
3 – Rest
4 – Track: 2 Yasso 800s
5 – Cross-train
6 – Rest
7 – Rest
8 – 2 mile easy
9 – Rest
10 – Race Day!
Follow cycles 1,2, and 3 twice, then follow the taper.
You must start the program 70 days prior to the race date.
The Pefect 10 Half-Marathon For Hard-Core Runners
Day Cycle 1:
- Tempo Run – 15 minute warmup, 30 minute half-marathon pace, 15 minute cooldown
- Rest or cross-train
- 6 mile easy
- Speedwork: 4 Yasso 800s
- Cross-train
- 6 mile easy
- 6 mile easy
- LSD: 8-10 miles
- Rest
- 6 mile easy
Day Cycle 2:
- Tempo Run: 15 minute warmup, 30 minute half-marathon pace, 15 minute cooldown
- Rest or cross-train
- 5 mile easy
- Speedwork: 5 Yasso 800s
- Cross-train
- 3 mile easy
- 4 mile easy
- LSD: 8-10 miles
- Rest
- 5 mile easy
Day Cycle 3:
- Tempo Run: 15 minute warmup, 40 minute half-marathon pace, 15 minute cooldown
- Rest or cross-train
- 5 mile easy
- Speedwork: 6 Yasso 800s
- Cross-train
- 5 mile easy
- 4 mile easy
- LSD: 12-14 miles
- Rest
- 5 mile easy
Day Half-Marathon Taper:
- Tempo Run: 15 minute warmup, 25 minute half-marathon pace, 15 minute cooldown
- Cross-train
- 6 mile easy
- Track: 4 Yasso 800s
- Cross-train
- 4 mile easy
- Rest
- 3 mile easy
- Rest
- Race Day!
Follow cycles 1, 2, and 3 three times, then follow the taper.
You must start the program 100 days prior to the race date.
Race Review: World’s Toughest Tri
Auburn Triathlon – World’s Toughest Half-Ironman (Olympic & Sprint distance events also offered)
Overview: This point to point race takes place in late May in the Northern California town of Auburn. Located in the Sierra foothills this race offers a very challenging course. Although it is a small race, it is still very well organized and it definitely lives up to its name as the “World’s Toughest Half.” This race is recommended for experienced triathletes who want a challenging but laid back race. Not recommended for those new to the sport or those merely interested in clocking a PR.
Swim: The swim takes place in beautiful Folsom Lake. In 2009 the water temperature was in the low 70’s, perfect for the race. New for 2009 there was a mandatory 10 minute warm up period in the water prior to the start. This was in an effort to minimize the risks associated with the sudden shock of cold water which has been linked to some recent deaths in triathlon. The start is a mass start from the rattlesnake bar boat ramp and swimmers can choose to start in the water itself or the on the ramp (depending on how near the front they want to be). Swimmers head straight out and then to the right to the first buoy proceeding in a counterclockwise diamond around the lake. There are buoys at each turn, which are clearly visible throughout the swim. Upon completing the swim, athletes head up the boat ramp and into T1.
Bike: With over 6000 feet of net elevation gain, this is one of the toughest bike courses around. The hills start right away, and don’t seem to let up for the whole race. There are many challenging climbs and some technical descents on narrow curvy roads. Leave the tri bikes at home and go with a road bike with clip on aero-bars. The course is somewhat confusing, with many turns, so pay attention to avoid getting lost, or better yet map out the course prior to the race. The course is open to traffic, and although police direct cars at major intersections, riders must use extreme caution. In addition, the route takes riders across a few railroad crossings and in previous years some rather long trains have halted riders at the crossings. At times these aspects can almost make a rider forget they are even in a race.
Run: Most of the run takes place through a state park on trails, dirt and gravel roads although there are a few sections on pavement. The course has plenty of great scenery to keep runners occupied, and it is even pretty shady for the most part. However, like the bike it also features many hills. It is a two loop course giving runners the opportunity to know what to expect on the second loop. There are plenty of aid stations along the run that provide great race support and motivation.
Logistics: Area hotels are all reasonably priced and in good condition, there are also options for camping in the area. There aren’t many restaurants in town, but the race website lists some good dinning options. Plan on getting to Auburn with enough time the day before the race to map out the locations for the start and T2. It is also recommended that racers at least drive some portions of the bike course to get familiar with it. This is a point to point race so participants need to stage their run gear at T2 the night before the race. In addition, there is no parking at T1 on race day and athletes ride their bikes from T2/Finish to T1/Start. It’s mainly down hill and a short 20 minute ride, but pack accordingly so that everything can fit easily int
Columbus Half Marathon
Race Photos…Uncle Nathan and Rohn!!
May 6, 2009 by juplife
nate and rohn sitting in a tree
Had my best time yet at the capital city half marathon in columbus over the weekend. 144:37. 8 minute miles. i’m pretty, pretty pleased. the photos from the race are up. you can find them at runphotos.com. i’m bib 85 and cousin jeff is bib 2458. i know you want to buy them all. my form is reminiscent of jesse owens.
Welcome to Pants Off Racing!
Pants Off Racing is your reason to exercise, get in shape, travel, and hang out with your friends that you don’t see enough. POR is here to promote a healthy, fun, and different way to spend your time. POR’s goal is to encourage everyone to do something that they may never do on their own. Basically, POR is here to make your training more enjoyable and help you push yourself mentally and physically in a friendly environment.
We like to travel, race, and have a good time. In no way is this a “serious” racing team. POR is more or less just a good way to keep in touch with everyone who even remotely enjoys running, biking, swimming…or whatever it is that you like to do. For some reason we get some sort of gratification from running, biking, and swimming everyday.
POR will be providing training schedules, race information, personal updates, travel plans, pictures, and classic stories. This team isn’t a complete joke…we do get down to business when we need to, and our main objective is to get more people involved. The good thing about this group is that it doesn’t take any special talent or ability, just a little mental toughness at times.
Marathon
#1: 30 in 30
- Run 30 minutes in 30 consecutive days. It is very important not to skip a day. This program is for any runner, but beginners will benefit the most. Start with 15, 20, or 25 minutes and work your way up to 30 minutes if you have to
Swimming
Swimming 101: Great article for beginner swimmers
#1:
- 100, 200, 300, 400, 500, 500, 400, 300, 200, 100
- Take 15 seconds between each swim and keep them all similar pace
- Don’t fade!
#2:
- 5 x 50 warm up
- 10 x 100
- Pull 500
- 10 x 100
- 5 x 50 cool down
#3:
- 5 x 100
- 5 x 200
- 5 x 100
- 5 x 100
- 200; build so you get faster each 50
- 5 x 50 cool down
#4:
- 500 warm up
- 4 x 500; swim at every 10 minutes and get faster each 500
- 500 cool down
Biking
#1.
- 15 minute warm up
- 5 x 5 minutes at quick pace with 1 minute recovery between
- 15 minutes in low cadence (hard gear). Put in big gear and add some tension and get into your aerobars and pedal slowly. It should feel like your brakes are on
- 5 x 2 minutes spin fast with 30 seconds easy spin between. Spin pretty quick, but not like a madman – find a groove.
- 10 minute easy spin cool down
#2.
- 10 minute warm up
- 5 minute spin fast
- 5 minute big gear
- 5 minute spin fast
- 10 minute big gear
- 5 minute spin fast
- 15 minute big gear
- 5 minute spin fast
- 10 minute cool down
#3.
- 15 minute warm up
- 30 minutes at fastest pace you can without killing yourself
- 15 minute cool down
#4.
- 10 minute warm up
- 5 minute spin fast
- 5 minute big gear
- 5 minute stand up
- 5 minute cruise
- Repeat these as many times (4) as you would like
- 10 minute cool down
Running
“Anyone who has put in the miles knows how good running feels once its stop feeling bad.”
Okay, the workouts we have listed are a little intense for anyone, especially if you actually have a real job and live in the real world. So for Drew Tuckett and the rest of the working world, here are some running plans for any type of runner who may be planning on running a 5-k, 10-k, half-marathong, or marathong sometime in the future. Good luck!
Newbies: Those just starting out
Seasoned Runners: Experienced Runner
Hard-Core Runners: Most ambitious
Top Tips For The Long Distance Runner
3 key sessions per week:
#1. Long Run
- Start around 10 miles and add about 2 miles per week
- Pickups – Run 5 miles regular pace and then do 2 x 1 mile with 1 mile in between at regular pace. (i.e. Mile 6 you would run slighly faster than your target pace. The mile in between should be slightly slower than your target pace.)
- Only run “faster” at the end of your runs; you want to feel good after your runs, not “wasted.”
- STRETCH!!
#2. Track Workouts
#3. Hills
- Builds strength and makes you faster on the flats
- The hill should be moderately steep but not crazy steep
- Standard – do 3 miles for a warm-up, hill workout, then 2-3 mile cool down
Get Back In Shape Plan
For those of us who are coming off a month long christmas feast, senior month, or just forgot to workout for a couple months, try this month long workout plan to get you back to that ironman stamina.
Why don’t you try and do the following week 4 times through. The first week of it do it just like this. The second week you are to up the runs to 40 min. The third week you are to up the runs to 50 min and add an extra 500 to all the swims. The fourth week you are to up the runs to 1hr and add an extra 1,000 to all the swims. What I want you to do on the extra thousand is swim 500 then pull with paddles a 500. If you follow this plan for 4 weeks you will get back in shape and set yourself up for some man training! Know that all of this can be pretty chill. You have plenty of time to get the long runs in etc…right now we just want to build a base and keep you injury free. Let me know if you have any questions!
MON:
- 30 min run (all running is easy! After 4 weeks we will incorporate some speed and a long run. For now- just chill)
- 2K Swim 500 Warm up. 15×100 on the 1:45
- GYM
TUE:
- 30 min run
- 1:30 Bike on trainer. 10 min warm up, 3×20 min (Build the 20 min so that the last 5 is 1/2 ironman pace) Take 5 min easy in between. 10 min cool down.
WED:
- 30 min run
- 2K Swim 500 warm up, 5×100 on the 1:45, 500 Pull with paddles, 5×100 on the 1:40.
- GYM
THR:
- 30 min run
- 2:00 Hr on the bike. 15 min warm up 6×10 min (1) Aero 2) Big gear 3) High cadence- repeat) Make them slightly slower than 1/2 Iron effort.
FRI:
- 30 min run
- 2K Swim 20×100 . first 5 on 1:45, second 5 on 1:40, Repeat this…no breaks except for the rest interval. Can you make this? If it is too slow or too fast tell me. I want you getting no more than 5 seconds rest on these.
- GYM
SAT:
- 30 min run
- 2:00 Hr bike. Just steady. Mix it up by changing gears throughout. Aero, non aero etc..
That’s all, I guess Sunday we can take off or something. Whoever made these workouts is nuts, but they do work.
